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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160910">Riddle School: The Retelling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightOfNetter/pseuds/NightOfNetter'>NightOfNetter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Riddle School (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adventure, Alien Abduction, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Dreams vs. Reality, Gen, Government Conspiracy, It took me, Not Beta Read, Puzzles, dont let the published and completed date fool you, for some reason i just fell in love with these characters so much, in 2020?, its more likely than you think, just lots of running, no beta we die like men, not much action, riddle school content?, three years to write this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:15:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightOfNetter/pseuds/NightOfNetter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Riddle School is a simple point-and-click puzzle game, and is super short and fun to play. But, what if the game was more in-depth? More realistic? With more thought out actions, more thoughts in general, and a little more feeling?</p><p>Well, I guess this re-telling of that classic flash game series is the answer to those "what if" questions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One (RS1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A conversation from a discord I was in about the origins of this story:</p><p> "Anyway, like three or four years ago (honestly a very different time for me) I was like ‘hmm. These games are pretty Short. I love the characters, and it’s pretty messed up what happened to them, so what if I. Rewrote the whole seven flash games in fanfiction version and did it that way.’ And then i wrote about 200 words, didn’t touch the story for a year, wrote about 200 more words, then guiltily didn’t even LOOK at it for two hole years. Cut to seven days ago. I watch markiplier play through the Henry Stickmin series. I’m like 'flash games are pretty cool again actually' and think about Riddle School. Two days later, I start writing, non stop. Day and night, literally only stopping for food and to use the bathroom. Around 27k words later, here we are." </p><p>"It’s the most amount of words I’ve ever written, outside of school. And the first non one-shot FF I’ve ever managed to finish, so I’m pretty dang proud of myself."</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A sharp pain stabbed through Phil's skull as he smashed against the side of the escape pod he was in. He barely got in and pushed a button, when the pod was blasted away from the two spaceships behind him that exploded, and propelled him to the Earth. He got up quickly and woozily to try and strap in to the seat, and fully realized the situation he was in once he sat down.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He went through years and years of his life, going through elementary school, middle school, high school, and started college. And then he died and woke up, only to find out he and his friends were part of some sick experiment. He was barely a ten-year-old, and his whole life was practically a lie.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>To Phil, the beginning was a decade ago, but to any outsider, it was a little less than one week ago.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"<em>grooooan...</em>" I exasperated, clearly bored out of my mind. I was sitting in a simple beige classroom, with a boring teacher, two boring student desks, and two boring windows.</p><p> </p><p>"I've been sitting here for two hours straight," I narrated to myself, "listening to addition facts."</p><p> </p><p>"All because I teased somebody, I'm in a special class. I don't even have a smart teacher." I said, rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Right now," i sighed. "I'm as free as a bird in a bird cage." I glared at the oblivious teacher swinging his stick around and pointing at a math problem on the board that was clearly wrong.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, that's it. I'm getting out of this school."</p><p> </p><p>The teacher, Mr. Kahm, cut off my monologue. "What's 131+42 again? I forget."</p><p> </p><p>I let out another obnoxious '<em>groooooooan</em>' and smacked my head against my desk.</p><p> </p><p>I got up from my chair decidedly, and started to formulate a plan. I looked at the two boring windows, the cracks in the walls, Mr. Kahm, his desk, the sharpener that was next to the door-</p><p> </p><p>"That's it!" I exclaimed. I grinned at my genius plan, and put it into motion.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey teacher! Could I sharpen my pencil?"</p><p> </p><p>"Only one person at a time!" I rolled his eyes. There's only one person in this class.</p><p> </p><p>Putting that aside, I went to the pencil sharpener, reached for it, and then took a sharp right turn, escaping from the "Special Class For the Insane" as it was strangely labeled.</p><p> </p><p>"Now <em>that</em> was sharp!" I cringed at my horrible pun. I can't believe I said that.</p><p> </p><p>I was just about to turn and go out the doors to freedom, but then I remembered that the doors were closed during school hours.</p><p> </p><p>"I bet the principal has the keys. I was there yesterday, and then I got sent to that class. ...Only last time, I was with the teacher." I sighed.</p><p> </p><p>"It'll be harder this time." I checked my pockets. "I don't even have a hall pass." I remembered the last time I was in the hallway. "There's a hall guard right before you reach the hall's end. Well, it's all the way down the hall and past the teachers' lounge." I smirked.</p><p> </p><p>"If I can make it there, I'm as good as free!"</p><p> </p><p>I decided to check the lockers while walking, because there were barely any kids in the school, and some were known to hide things in many empty lockers. I came across the water fountain, and Ms. Cophey's class, deciding not to go in for fear of getting in trouble. I checked the lockers some more, and found—Jackpot!—a hall pass!</p><p> </p><p>I headed down the long and dreary hallways, passing the janitor's closet and the two bathrooms, where I came across the hall monitor.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, it's me, Richy, the hall guard. Got a hall pass? 'cause if you don't, you can't pass."</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," I replied with a fake smile. "I do, so please get out of my way." Finally, the hall was free from the only monitor. I trekked on, and made a passing glance to my poster that I made at home paying homage to the bizarre number of lockers in this school. No sanity, indeed.</p><p> </p><p>No wonder this school's low budget, and falling apart. It was expected to be popular.</p><p> </p><p>I was just about to go into the teacher's lounge, preparing to sneak by and escape the school, but I was faced with Chubb, the fattest kid in school, donning his classic '<em>feed me</em>' shirt, and blocking off the teachers lounge.</p><p> </p><p>Chubb moaned. "Oooooh... gimme a cookie!"</p><p> </p><p>I sighed, again.</p><p> </p><p>Chubb. There's not a person I know who's as fat and hungry as he is. I wonder if he actually did eat that refrigerator I heard about? Ugh, never mind. The teachers' lounge is right behind Chubb! There's nothing I can do to move him! Unless, I get him something sugary to bribe him I guess...</p><p> </p><p>I rubbed my forehead, as if I had a headache, and walked over to the gross cafeteria, which held a myriad of stains on the walls, floor, and ceiling. I would've been disgusted, had I not've been to blame for a few stains, specifically for the mustard yellow and aptly named 'Smiley Smudge.' I eyed my fellow student who happened to be there, sleeping, and the empty and broken "Cookyz" vending machine.</p><p> </p><p>"Just my luck!" I said angrily as I entered the hallway. "I guess I should peek a look into the other rooms in this school. Maybe I can find something sweet or whatever."</p><p> </p><p>I jogged down the hallway, eyeing the bathrooms and looking in the Men's for anything useful. Finding nothing, I went along to the Janitor's closet. The Janitor yelled at him to get out, so I went on my way.</p><p> </p><p>"Let's hope that Ms. Cophey won't notice me if I go into her classroom. She'll probably be too hyped up on coffee." I smiled. "I can say hi to my friends, too!"</p><p> </p><p>I snuck in, and waved to my pals, Phred, Zack, and Smiley. I took a quick peek in every crevice of the room to find anything, only to pause looking in the bin.</p><p> </p><p>Ignoring the irony, I picked up the feather duster that was in the dustbin. I could think about it later when my mission was done. Time for me to, slowly but surely, make my out of this terrible place!</p><p> </p><p>I'll return this to the janitor, and maybe he'll give me a prize! Heh heh...</p><p> </p><p>As I stepped back into the cleaning closet, the janitor, who was also one of my classmates' dad, glared at me.</p><p> </p><p>"WHAT are you doing?"</p><p> </p><p>"Returning your feather duster I found!"</p><p> </p><p>"My feather duster!" 808, as he was named, threw a dollar at me, as a reward. "Keep the change! I've been looking everywhere for this! The playground birds need dusting."</p><p> </p><p>We looked at each other with mirrored confused expressions. Me and what he said, and him at why I wasn't leaving.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I gave you a dollar. Don't waste it on socks." 808 shooed me away with his hand, and once again he was alone with his cleaning equipment.</p><p> </p><p>I walked towards Chubb, thinking about lowering my workload by just giving Chubb the dollar instead of going on a fetch-quest for sweets.</p><p> </p><p>I held out the dollar and Chubb moved out of the way by falling forward.</p><p> </p><p>"Take the dollar, fatty."</p><p> </p><p>At last, I entered the teacher's lounge, ever so close to victory.</p><p> </p><p>Alas, there was another obstacle in my way again. The teacher shrieked at me, "What are you DOING here?!"</p><p> </p><p>Oops. I searched for an explanation, suddenly put on the spotlight. "I-uh- I need to talk to the principal!"</p><p> </p><p>Think, Phil, what excuse would these crazy teachers accept?</p><p> </p><p>The teacher continued. "And why is THAT?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's-! I mean, I want to tell him a joke!" I struggled a smile, hoping that this plan would work.</p><p> </p><p>Shockingly, the teacher calmed down and smiled. "Oh, jokes are always fun! Go right on in!"</p><p> </p><p>When she moved aside, I rolled my eyes and carefully opened the door to Mr. Cwesschyn's office and snuck around the desk for the keys that hung on the side. I ran out quickly, in fear of earning the principal's terrible wrath, but I managed to get away in time. The teacher standing guard bid me adieu and I was finally on my way.</p><p> </p><p>I rushed down the hall to the exit, unlocked the door, opened the door, and took a step outside into the fresh air—</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two (RS2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Phil took a glance around the music room, his tired eyes drooping. He figured it wouldn't hurt to take a short nap, while nobody's even doing anything. He laid his head on the music stand in front of him, and closed his eyes just for a second...</p><p> </p><p>Only to wake up suddenly as the stand, and him, came crashing to the ground faster than he could react.</p><p> </p><p><em>'Ah, let's hope no one noticed that</em>'</p><p> </p><p>Phil stole a few glances around the room, from the complicated-looking drum set, to the chalkboard with the non-musical truth, to his band director Mr. O. Boe (only hired because of his name), to a very strange poster on the wall, to his fellow inmates/friends.</p><p> </p><p>His friends, of course being the happy-go-lucky Smiley, Zack, who for as cold as he was never wore more than one sweater, and to his very lazy but helpful friend Phred.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Phred," Phil whispered, trying not to draw anymore attention to himself. "Can you help me escape school again?"</p><p> </p><p>Phred looked at him with a casual glance. "I have a whistle, as if that'd be useful."</p><p> </p><p>"It might help," Phil decided. "Can I have it?"</p><p> </p><p>"Only if you have a dollar." Dang it Phred. '<em>Helpful friend indeed.</em>' Well, at least there were always a bit of change sprinkled around the room. Kids these days could never hold onto their money!</p><p> </p><p>So Phil went on his admittedly short quest to acquire enough change to assist his escape. Man, escaping was becoming a habit of his.</p><p> </p><p>"Here's my whistle for that dollar you've got there," said Phred as he tossed over his musical instrument in exchange for Phil's change. "I don't actually use it anyway."</p><p> </p><p><em>'Then why couldn't I just have it?? Whatever. Let's see if I blow this whistle loud enough, it'll get me kicked out of class!</em>'</p><p> </p><p>A very shrill sound later, and everyone, besides Phil, was collapsed on the floor. Zack was even frozen solid!</p><p> </p><p>"Here's your whistle back, Phred." Phil gently placed the whistle in Phred's still fingers. "I don't really feel like stealing music from you at the moment."</p><p> </p><p>Finally, sweet freedom!</p><p> </p><p>...From the band room at least. ("<em>Now that was a sharp idea!</em>)</p><p> </p><p>And of course he couldn't get out through the doors yet. ("<em>I can't believe I just said that...</em>")</p><p> </p><p>"I'll bet the counselor at this school has the keys. All I need to do is get to his office, grab the keys, and make my escape." He faltered. "Obviously this is easier said than done." He faltered again. "...Unless, of course you are mute..."</p><p> </p><p>Phil could see that Chubb, wearing his classic '<em>feed me</em>' t-shirt was blocking the office door, once again. Unlike last time, Chubb would not accept a dollar. Only a cookie as payment. Now Phil wasn't quite sure, but the teacher's lounge may have a cookie dispenser he could get the previous treat from. He decided to step into the lounge to test his luck with any teachers that may be guarding the treasure.</p><p> </p><p>Yikes. Ms. Green and Mr. Sum were sitting on the sofa. At the sound of the door creaking open, Ms. Green shrieked, "WHAT are you doing here?!"</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, Oops! Wrong room!" Phil panicked. He left the room quickly, in order not to get called out for not being in class. The two teachers filed out the room, so Phil ducked behind Chubb to avoid being detected. When the teachers finished walking back to their classrooms, Phil slyly snuck into the teacher's lounge once again.</p><p> </p><p>The scenery brought back memories of old, but Phil was only here for the cookie machine. It appeared to be non-function, so he checked all around it for someway to jumpstart it, or something. Ah-ha! It was simply unplugged. Alas, he needed 75 cents to actually get a cookie, so off he was on his quest to scrounge up the appropriate amount it cash.</p><p> </p><p>He followed his tradition(?) of flicking open unlocked lockers in the hope of finding change. Yes! Only 10 cents though. Next step was to go through each of the rooms to get more money.</p><p> </p><p>The men's room had nothing in the first stall or sink, and the second stall was being used by someone who didn't have any toilet paper. That wasn't really Phil's problem, but then again, maybe the guy would give him a coin or two for helping him out.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, going in the women's restroom wouldn't be the place to go, he turned towards Ms. Green's room. Wow. How had he not known how green this room was? Anyway, there was no change here to be found. On to Mr. Sum's room!</p><p> </p><p>"Have a nice visit while you're here," Mr. Sum said disapprovingly, "and hurry back to class when your finished." Oops. Apparently Phil was not quite as welcome here. He  picked up 25 cents and skedaddled onto the next room, last the unwelcoming janitor, and into Mrs. Sleep's classroom.</p><p> </p><p>She was, unsurprisingly, asleep, so Phil decided to take along some of his desk's contents, as if his trombone's slidy oil would somehow help? And 30 cents, which he actually could think of a use for.</p><p> </p><p>He eyed the vent in the corner of the room and tho if he back to the vent near Chubb. It was closer to the ground, so maybe a student would have put some change in there for him to snatch up. He only needed... counting 30+25+10... ('<em>I can't believe I actually learned something in this dumb school.</em>') 10 cents left! Phil made his way to the office and checked in the vent, hoping for that last dime, only to find... a roll of toilet paper?</p><p> </p><p>"Who sticks toilet paper in vents?!" He exasperated to anyone listening, which in this situation, happened to be Chubb. 'And wait...' "The vent cover is rusted shut." '<em>How long ago did someone put toilet paper in this vent if the cover is freaking rusted shut?!</em>' Ah, whatever not his problem. Actually, it was sorta his problem if he wanted to help that poor kid in the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>Trombone slidy oil to the rescue! Phil made his way to the bathroom and tossed the paper over the occupied stall door. After a few seconds, a yellow-shirted boy rushed past Phil, quickly washed his hands, and made his way out without even a 'Thank you.'</p><p> </p><p>"You're welcome." Phil called after him, half-heartily offended. There was a mop in the stall that most likely belonged to the janitor. Maybe he'll be appreciative and give a prize for helping locate the mop!</p><p> </p><p>"Where'd you find my mop!?" The excitable janitor said when Phil handed over the cleaning device. "I've been looking all over for it!" Phil would've had said where, but he was interrupted. "Thanks for returning it. Here's my last dime." He looked angry for a second. "...And don't waste it in the school's cheesy pencils." Oh thank goodness.</p><p> </p><p>Now he was home free. He dashed over to the teacher's lounge, popped the coins into the cookie machine, and acquired his treasure, which for some reason, wasn't pre-packaged. Again, not his problem.</p><p> </p><p>He sauntered over to Chubb, tossed the cookie to the side, and watched as Chubb fell over in excitement over the precious sweet. He could finally get into the office.</p><p> </p><p>5, a fellow classmate of Phil's, was seemingly sleeping in a chair in the lobby, below a smiley face sign. What strange decor. Phil turned to Mr. Mister's office, in anticipation.</p><p> </p><p>Uh oh. Mr. Mister was looking straight at him. The key was simply laying on the desk in between them. Maybe Phil should just grab it and run. Impulse won out of common sense, so he grabbed, yelled, "I'm keeping this!" And bolted out of the room. As he left, he heard the guidance counselor say "I think he took the key," but that was of no consequence to him.</p><p> </p><p>Phil walked down the hallway triumphantly. (He was so close to escaping! He didn't want to get in trouble for running down the hallway, out of all things.) He came to the entrance to the school, took the key in his hands, and unlocked the front door.</p><p> </p><p>The sunlight washed over him, and as he caught sight of the almost clear blue sky and the vibrant green grass, he he grinned happily.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, freedom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three (RS3)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Another boring day of school. High school, this time.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Alright, Phil was sick of this.</p><p> </p><p>He took a few glances around the room, and decided that remaining in school that day was simply not worth it. If only he still had that rubber band that he tossed in the vent near his strict, but lazy teacher, he'd shoot the teacher's glasses off and escape.</p><p> </p><p>Phil probably could use the ruler that was on his desk and the gum on the globe to pick it up, probably. He decided to do just that.</p><p> </p><p>It 'twas only a single action later, when Phil heard the cries of, "I'm blind! I can't see!" And bear witness to his lazy teacher not caring about being unable to see. Phil picked up the glasses and took them with him anyway, just in case Mr. Soggy decided to gain some energy.</p><p> </p><p>'<em>That wasn't a sharp idea. Actually, that was kinda blurry.</em>' What was he even thinking about? Ah. Escaping, that's what. On one side of the building, there was a brick wall, and on the other side, a locked door.</p><p> </p><p>'<em>Pigs will probably be flying before I get out of here. That won't stop me from trying, though. I just need the counselor's keys, and I'll be free!</em>'</p><p> </p><p>This time, when Phil tried to get through the office door, Chubb was, yet again, being a very large obstacle, this time for want of some pudding. He'll go down to the punch room and ask Mrs. Munch for some pudding.</p><p> </p><p>She barely acknowledged his arrival. "What can I get for you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Hello Mrs. Munch." It was only polite.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello."</p><p> </p><p>"I'd like chocolate pudding."</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry." She shrugged. "Pudding costs a dollar. You don't have enough."</p><p> </p><p>Phil walked out of the lunch room, defeated only for a moment. Surely if he walked around and did random tasks for random people, they'd take pity on him and give the proper change needed for his freedom?</p><p> </p><p>Surely.</p><p> </p><p>Miss Count's room and the auditorium were both locked and dark, so Phil continued down the hall, picking up a few pennies on the way to the teacher's lounge. Actually, peeking in, there were two teachers in there. Better avoid it until he has a good enough excuse to scrounge around for change. Another peek in the men's room held no water, so onto the supply closet he went.</p><p> </p><p>The very bright fluorescent light caught the glimmering of a small and shiny silver coin on top of the very empty supply shelf, so Phil filed that information away for when he could make some sort of longer stick to pull the dime off and into his eager hands.</p><p> </p><p>He walked through the library door very quietly, but Mr. Read, the librarian, still shushed him.</p><p> </p><p>"How are you, Mr. Read?"</p><p> </p><p>He frowned. "I'm feeling kind of depressed." He admitted. "I'm a librarian, and I can't even read! Well, I can read, but only big-print books. You see, my eyesight is like a stuffed monkey doll." He paused for dramatic effect. "It's fuzzy."</p><p> </p><p>It just so happens that Phil had a remedy for this exact situation! He handed the librarian Mr. Soggy's glasses ('<em>I hope he won't need these anymore.</em>')</p><p> </p><p>"Sweet." Mr. Read grinned as he placed the glasses over his nose. "Here's a free bookmark."</p><p> </p><p>On most occasions, Phil would not exactly be happy to receive a bookmark, because he always managed to lose them, and usually ended up using torn pieces of paper instead. However, it just so happened that he needed another stick-like thing to reach the dime on the shelf in the next room over. So, he MacGuyver'ed a long-stick-sorta-thing and acquired the ten cents.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe his locker would have extra change. He walked up the stairs, to the right of Chubb, and made his way to his locker. Phil was stopped, however, by a muffled voice pleading for freedom.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>SOMEBODY GET ME OUT OF MY LOCKER!</em>" The voice yelled.</p><p> </p><p>Phil tapped on the locker to show that he was listening.</p><p> </p><p>"THIS IS RICHY!! HELP ME OUT!!" The now named voice begged.</p><p> </p><p>"What's the combination?" Phil asked calmly.</p><p> </p><p>An embarrassed pause. "I never can remember." Richy admitted. "I HAVE IT WRITTEN DOWN!" He yelled again. "IT'S IN MRS. ODDVERB'S ROOM!" Oh hey, that was one of the teachers that was in the lounge. "TELL HER I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!"</p><p> </p><p>'<em>Will do.</em>' Phil strolled casually to the teacher's lounge, and opened the door, much to the disapproving looks of the two teachers.</p><p> </p><p>"Where'd YOU come from?" Miss Count questioned.</p><p> </p><p>There were many strange and convoluted sentences he could pull out of nowhere and only prolong the inevitable "SHOO!", but he was not here for that.</p><p> </p><p>"Mrs. Oddverb, about Richy...?" Phil started to say.</p><p> </p><p>"What about Richy?" She squinted her eyes at the intruding student.</p><p> </p><p>"He's stuck in his locker. His combination is in your class."</p><p> </p><p>"Again?" She rolled her eyes. "Do you think u should go to my class and look for the combination now?"</p><p> </p><p>Why was she even asking that? Didn't she care for her poor, trapped student? Whatever. "Yes," Phil answered her.</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Oddverb got up and left the room. After a moment, Miss Count followed her, with a departing, "I should probably leave too."</p><p> </p><p>Well, they left Phil to do some digging, so some digging he did. All of the cabinets and drawers were strangely empty, except for a single nickel.</p><p> </p><p>Miss Count's room was disturbingly filled with one-of-a-kind Monkey dolls, assorted Monkey posters, and Monkey wallpapers. There was a keyboard key on the ground though. That didn't quite belong there, so Phil tucked it away for future use. Anyway, time to go save Richy.</p><p> </p><p>On the way to Mrs. Oddverb's room, Phil picked up the nickel that was in his locker, and a single penny from the floor. He picked up the paper that had Richy's locker combination ok it, only to find out that the way he was looking at it made it spell 'BLOBBLES'. Obviously the numbers were just upside-down, and the actual combination was 53788078.</p><p> </p><p>At last, Richy was free!</p><p> </p><p>"Phil Eggtree!" He shouted in glee. Phil handed him the slip of paper containing the life saving numbers. "Ah, the combination. Thanks." Richy flipped Phil a quarter. "By the way I'm collecting buttons." He walked away.</p><p> </p><p>The rooms left to explore were the janitor's closet, and Mrs. Flask's room. From prior experience, the janitor would not be happy for an intruder, so the best thing to do would be to find a random piece of cleaning equipment somewhere and turn it in for a reward, or cause a distraction somewhere else to call the janitor away. No one was in the men's stall downstairs, so causing a bit of a blockage wouldn't exactly cause any harm. Phil decided to do that after he visited Mrs. Flask's room.</p><p> </p><p>"Is your button-making machine almost decompress, Mrs. Flask?" Phil greeted.</p><p> </p><p>"Well..." the teachers said. "I feel silly to admit it, but I can't turn it on." She gestured with the clipboard in her hand. "It needs a switch, or a button, to even work. So, I need a button to make a button." She sighed. "It doesn't have to be big. All I need is something slightly larger than a pistachio nut."</p><p> </p><p>Hm. Phil <em>had</em> found that keyboard key earlier. Maybe it would be the right size for the machine?</p><p> </p><p>He slipped it into the square slot, and it fit perfectly. He pressed the button, the machine sputtered and let out some smoke, and then a large green button with the words 'SCIENCE ROCKS' on it popped out.</p><p> </p><p>"It's a start," Mrs. Flask said. Phil took the button with him to give to Richy. He was collecting buttons, after all.</p><p> </p><p>He moseyed back into Mrs. ODDVERB's room, where Richy was residing in.</p><p> </p><p>Phil showed off the button to his classmate.</p><p> </p><p>"Heh, nice." Richy pinned the button to his chest, and flicked a coin to the boy in front of him. "Here's my last quarter. Keep it."</p><p> </p><p>Now, Phil only needed 25 more cents. He walked to the first floor bathroom, and, without thinking twice about it, clogged the toilet. He turned the flusher and watched in awe as the water filled the seat to the brim.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the door slammed open and the janitor came running in with a yell of "DO I HEAR A TOILET CLOG?"</p><p> </p><p>No amount of hesitation later, Phil was kicked out of the stall while the janitor went to work.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, he picked up the quarter from underneath the janitor's chair, and he had enough change to buy some pudding to give to Chubb to move him out of the way to get the counselor's key to open up the front door of the school and drive away. Was that rally what he was doing this whole time? With all these small tasks around every corner, he had almost lost sight of his original goal.</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Munch counted the change that was presented to her, and with a great <em>clunk!</em> deposited the gallon of chocolate pudding on the counter for Phil to take. Pudding get!</p><p> </p><p>Now, to present it to Chubb. Phil placed down the pudding on the top of the stairs for Chubb to roll onto, but he miscalculated. The sheer weight of Chubb's chubbiness causes him to Indiana Jones boulder-of-doom aspen the stairs, after Phil, and crash through the previously locked doors to the auditorium.</p><p> </p><p>Who knew Chubb would make such a great wreaking ball? Phil headed back up the stairs, and was greeted by a grumpy secretary.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello, this is Mrs. Mooses. How can I help you?"</p><p> </p><p>She was not the type of adult to take 'I'd like to tell the counselor a joke,' and more like the type to say "I can see you're not needed here, have a nice day." in the most condescending tone you'd ever hear. So, Phil had to make a good excuse up on the spot.</p><p> </p><p>"I was sent here to see Mr. Potato."</p><p> </p><p>"Why would you need to see the counselor?" the secretary deadpanned.</p><p> </p><p>"Because..." Uh oh. Phil was drawing a blank here. "I'm awesome...?"</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Mooses blinked. "I fail to see the logic of that," Dang it. "but go right ahead." Huh?</p><p> </p><p>Welp, Phil was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He walked through the door, into the counselor's den.</p><p> </p><p>Mr. Potato was playing some sort of jumping game, and he was so engrossed in it, that Phil simply shrugged, picked up the shiny golden key, and left the room. He was on the home stretch.</p><p> </p><p>Downstairs, then to freedom. Phil unlocked the double doors that lead to the school's parking lot, and breathed the fresh air. He walked to his very orange car, turned on some tunes for the ride home, and started driving home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four (RS4)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>&gt;Accessing...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>&gt;Analyzing Map System</em>
</p><p>
  <em>&gt;Analyzation Process Complete</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Phil only went to college because he figured it had to be better than his other previous school experiences, although he knew that wasn't likely.</p><p> </p><p>The only reasons Phil went to the newly built Riddle University because it was local, it was cheap, and he didn't have any particular plans for the rest of his life, so it wouldn't matter what classes he took.</p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Phil sat forward in his desk, and started to think of a plan to escape. Again. He was starting to get a little too good at escaping places. An escaped felon wouldn't be as good as him.</p><p> </p><p>Phil let out a sigh and shifted in his seat, as he took a quick glance around the room, his eyes landing on the fat man sitting at the head of the classroom.</p><p> </p><p>Mr. Munch, Phil's current teacher reached forward on his desk, and made a motion as if he was pressing a button. Phil only had a moment to wonder what the button could do before the ground under him opened up and a sudden feeling of weightlessness overtook him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p>
  <em>At first, he thought this Riddle school was just like the other three he escaped from. Just when he considered trying to make his fourth escape, he found out it was completely different.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Phil's stomach lurched as he fell, his brain unable to comprehend the circumstances. He snapped out of it, and twisted around to see where he was going to land, only to get a face full of hot air.</p><p> </p><p>Phil was falling towards an open cavern of red, boiling liquid. His mouth opened in shock, and his vocal chords let loose what would be his last sound he would ever make on this earthly realm. </p><p> </p><p>As sudden as a sneeze, Phil hit the boiling lava, and he was no more. Left to burn alive until he was nothing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>left-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>to-</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>W̵̸̴̡͚͙̺͙͍͓͓̭A̛҉̙̪̬̺͔͇̩̹̜̝͈̭K̸̢̨̜̙͕̯͈̭͍͓̼̫͖E͟҉͕͍̞͕͈̲̹͚̞͙̥̻ ̷̶̡̨̹͎͙̜̻̜̻̬͢Ù̶͕͇͔͉̭̀͡͝P̛̺͕̭͕̦̜̮̬̪̠͉͉̠̙̩͇̖͞ W̵̸̴̡͚͙̺͙͍͓͓̭A̛҉̙̪̬̺͔͇̩̹̜̝͈̭K̸̢̨̜̙͕̯͈̭͍͓̼̫͖E͟҉͕͍̞͕͈̲̹͚̞͙̥̻ ̷̶̡̨̹͎͙̜̻̜̻̬͢Ù̶͕͇͔͉̭̀͡͝P̛̺͕̭͕̦̜̮̬̪̠͉͉̠̙̩͇̖͞ W̵̸̴̡͚͙̺͙͍͓͓̭A̛҉̙̪̬̺͔͇̩̹̜̝͈̭K̸̢̨̜̙͕̯͈̭͍͓̼̫͖E͟҉͕͍̞͕͈̲̹͚̞͙̥̻ ̷̶̡̨̹͎͙̜̻̜̻̬͢Ù̶͕͇͔͉̭̀͡͝P̛̺͕̭͕̦̜̮̬̪̠͉͉̠̙̩͇̖͞</p><p>
  <strong>ERROR ;)@&amp;;/)$/)&amp;@$&amp;</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>ERROR )&amp;;@);)&amp;0$(8(&amp;;:</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>404 dream not found</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Phil's teacher, Mr. Munch, was the original architect of Riddle University.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The school was built above a long pit of lava that he himself dug near an active underwater volcano.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>His plan to murder Phil Eggtree, to forever rid him of this world, succeeded.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And no one cared.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Every other student of Riddle University eventually died, from car wrecks, old age, and unforeseen </em>
  <em>disasters.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Each one, on their death bed, whispered their final wish:</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>"Please don't let their be any more Riddle school <strike>games</strike> fanfictions</em>."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five (RS5)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>Well, everyone, it seems soon our dreams will become reality, just as all the prisoners' realities become dreams. We all know our prisoners were taken from Riddle Elementary School.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<em><strong>Enlighten our listeners as to the reason we're here already.</strong></em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>I was getting to that part, Viz. This meeting is primarily to discuss these human subjects and their new dreams. Their behavior, after all, is why and how we are going through our plan.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<em><strong>Yes, because evildoers deserve nothing more than the taste of their own evil!</strong></em>"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A static image of a small boy lying down shows up. The caption under it says 'Phred-(Male)'. 'Phred' is not moving on the cot.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"<em>This is Phred.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<em><strong>We can read the caption next to the corner, Diz.</strong></em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>I'm enlightening everyone, just like you said. Phred, in his dreams, does as close to nothing as he can manage. Of the prisoners we have he seems the least useful right now.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Another image shows up, this time of a different seemingly unconscious figure reading 'Smiley-(Female)'.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Smiley smiles constantly in her dreams. We've tried to find intended flaw in her ways, not yet to any avail.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<strong><em>If one human is proven to be scum, the rest are no cleaner. Her face is nothing but a cover for her ugly desires.</em></strong>"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yet another image pops up, with a 'Zack-(Male)' curled up on another cot, shivering violently.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Zack here was shivering long before he was abducted from that school. It seems impossible that he would be so ongoingly chilly. There is a chance that by looking into his unusual condition-"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<strong>—We could power a weapons capable of freezing that pathetic planet Earth.</strong>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Hm, I could have sworn I was the one telling the presentation."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The monitor changes to another child lying down, simply labeled 'Phil'.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"And here we have the reason for our master plan. Had we not firsthand witnessed Phil escaping from his own school, Earth would not have become our first target of destruction. We can get into his brain, but what matters most is what we try to get out of it."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<strong>Knowing the enemy is the best way to defeat them.</strong>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<span class="u">Uh, Diz? I can't remember what the plan is exactly.</span>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<strong>Quiz, you're completely useless.</strong>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Well, I can clarify. With the knowledge we receive from these three dream captives, it's planned that we completely freeze their Homeworld, planet Earth. This procedure is to be repeated to other wrongdoing planets."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<span class="u">I have one more question.</span>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Go ahead, Quiz."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<span class="u">When you were talking just a second ago, you said 'from the knowledge we receive from these THREE dream captives.' Didn't you mean to say FOUR?</span>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Of course, just a slip of the tongue."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"<strong>Hey, why isn't the transmitter turned off? What if one of our subjects hears?</strong>"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Sorry. Didn't even know it was on. It'll be turned off in a seco—"</em>
</p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p>My eyes struggled open. My mind was hazy, and it felt as if I was sleeping for a unnaturally long time.</p><p> </p><p>Flashes of my school life flashed by, specifically the days I decided to escape them. My vision was blurry and there was a singular, bright light on the barren, white ceiling. A strange, heavy weight on my chest was lifted as I opened my eyes. Static left my vision, and I could see.</p><p> </p><p>My last memory was- college? And falling, and then lots of heat. I looked over to a wall, and then sat up on the strange, stiff pillow I laid on. It felt like a lump of clay. My arms and legs were small, as if I was child or something, which isn't what I remembered about who I was. I slid off the bed and looked around at the cold and empty room.</p><p> </p><p>In my dream, I heard three weird voices, all different. They were all colored, somehow? I didn't understand it, but my brain thought it made sense so I stuck with it. They talked about Earth, and dreams, and a lot of other very confusing things. I decided to think about that later, and just focus on escaping. Like I always do.</p><p> </p><p>The room was empty, except for a vent in the floor, the bed that I was sleeping on, and a weirdly designed door. I checked underneath the bed, and found a strange coin, with a weird picture on it. I debated keeping it once I was out of here, but I doubted that it would be able to be used for actual currency.</p><p> </p><p>Taking the coin, I walked over the door and felt it, looking for a handle, or some hidden button, or anything really. It was barred shut, and had no handle, which most likely meant it was remote controlled from the other side. I grimaced and turned around.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe the vent has something useful, I thought, as I got on my knees, feeling a rush of vertigo as I fell harder than I intended. Yeesh, wow. I guess I'm used to being a tall... adult. I started to unscrew the three screws keeping the vent shut with the coin I had acquired.</p><p> </p><p>I sighed. I guess my whole life was just a dream. Or maybe, just a little bit of it? Done with the screws, I put the coin in my pocket, gathered the discarded screws for later use, and pulled the vent cover off. I'll have to see how much of real life I missed. Hm, I wonder how much homework I'll need to make up for. I climbed down into the musty vent, and coughed to get the dust out of my lungs. That'll suck.</p><p> </p><p>Poking my head out of the exit, I decided never to do that again. Although, knowing me, I probably will have to.</p><p> </p><p>The vent opened up into a large room, with lots of stuff in it. Across the way I could see a large... <em>thing</em> standing in front of a pathway. I got closer to it slowly, afraid it would lash out and attack me, but it showed no signs of feral-ness. It was large and green, with one big eye and horns. There were two protrusions on the side of its body, and they kinda looked like wings, but they had no feathers or anything. The monster had four large square feet. Actually, it looked kinda cute.</p><p> </p><p>I'll come back later once I have more info, or something to help me get rid of it. I turned back to the vent I just crawled out of, and looked over to the cell door. It was closed, obviously, but it had a keycard scanner on the side. To the immediate right of the vent was a strange plant-Venus-flytrap looking thing. I clicked the button on its side, but it didn't do anything.</p><p> </p><p>I looked above my cell door, and found that it was labeled 'SUBJECT #9417.' Until that day, I had only been subject of a few cheap school English papers, so it was surprising to see that high of a number.</p><p> </p><p>There was some sort of... tile device? nearby. It had one of those tile puzzles where whenever you pressed a tile, some of the squares around it would light up, and others would stay the same. It looks like I had to spell out the numbers 4, 7, 0, and 1.</p><p> </p><p>The seven and zero were easy enough, but I had to do a lot of trial-and-error for the four and one. This was ridiculous. I didn't even know what this machine did.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Ok finally. It took me about 7 minutes of just clicking random buttons, but I did it. The tiles turned gray, and I turned around to see what I had actually been working towards this whole time.</p><p> </p><p>The Venus flytrap looking metal thing's mouth was now glowing red. I pushed the button, and a green wave of static washed over me, rendering me invisible. Woah. Out of sight, out of mind. This gave me an idea. If that guard monster couldn't see me anymore, then with a little bit of bait, I could drive it away. Somewhere.</p><p> </p><p>There was one more room to explore before I went into one of the two side rooms, up the ramps.</p><p> </p><p>Sweet, sweet freedom! Almost. There were four escape pods, looking prime and ready to go. It was awfully tempting to just fly right out of this place, but if those voices in my head were correct, then my friends were also somewhere here in this... building...</p><p> </p><p>I had only just looked out the window and seen the majesty of the Earth surrounded by millions of stars when I realized.</p><p> </p><p>I wasn't on Earth anymore. I mean, yeah, the strange alien coin and super-technology, the giant alien creature and the talks of 'world domination' should've clued me in, but thinking 'Oh, I'm on a spaceship' wouldn't be the obvious choice for anyone who didn't know where they were.</p><p> </p><p>I shook those thoughts out of my head. Now is not the time to ruminate on my confusion. I needed to save my friends. I headed back towards my cell door, and walked up the blue ramp. The first door I saw had a smiley face on the door, and was labeled 'SUBJECT #1831.' It was time to go and see how my friend is doing.</p><p> </p><p>It was not a good sight.</p><p> </p><p>Smiley was asleep, laying on a white cot in a white room, not unlike mine, with the exception of no large vent on the floor. I walked slowly towards her, afraid of triggering an alarm system.</p><p> </p><p>When I got close to her, I reached out to wake her up, only to hesitate due to a thin, staticky hologram coating that enveloped her. Ireached forward once more, prepared to hide if guards(?) suddenly burst in.</p><p> </p><p>What I wasn't prepared for was a sharp bolt of electricity that streaked through my body and through my nerves, lighting up my skeleton and burning my body, causing me to recoil away from the bed quickly. I panted, and stared longingly at the unconscious body of Smiley, hoping she was okay, and that there was some better, safe way to wake her up.</p><p> </p><p>I sighed, turned around, and looked at the rest of the room, examining the walls, ceiling, and even under the bed to find anything to help. The only thing in there was a used tissue, and I don't think that would help with anything. One of the walls, though, was actually a hidden door. It led through a short tunnel that ended with a hook with meat on it. I slid it off, deciding to keep it so I could do something about that monster outside. I looked down, only to see a bright green and bubbling vat of liquid. I backed away slowly, unwilling to take the chance of falling and seeing what it was. Whatever it was, I don't think it would be healthy for humans to come into contact with.</p><p> </p><p>I glanced back at Smiley when I came back down, and exited the room, at a loss with what else to do. Exploring more of the large spaceship seemed to be the only option.</p><p> </p><p>The next door in the hallway was shaped like a frog able, and a wonky sign nearby called it the Flower Room. There were in fact, no flowers I the room. Or at least, none that I was use to. There were strang dirtflowers, as I decided to call them, under a solar light. It looked like a miniature star.</p><p> </p><p>I picked one of the dirtflowers but apparently since my green thumb left something to be desired, because the plant immediately died in my hand, and a new one grew in its place in the dirt. Although, I picked up the nearby potted dirtflower, and it did not immediately die, so I decided to take that with me.</p><p> </p><p>There was also an empty tray that I thought would definitely be a better container than my pocket(?) for carrying the meat I had with me.</p><p> </p><p>The next door was labeled 'SUBJECT #7272,' so I walked in, expecting to see one of my other friends sleeping.</p><p> </p><p>Lo and behold, it was Phred! He, just like Smiley, was under a deep sleep, covered with a strange static. I didn't want to chance waking him up with my hands, in fear of getting shocked again.</p><p> </p><p>Just lying on the ground was a keycard! I picked it up gratefully. I also checked under the cot, but there was nothing of use there. Just a gross picture of a puking gorilla. It didn't tickle my fancy, so I retraced my steps, left the hallway and made my way to the main room, to head towards the bright orange ramp.</p><p> </p><p>I also tried to entice the guard monster to move  with the meat I had, but it didn't seem to want it. Maybe it needed seasoning or something.</p><p> </p><p>The first door was very weirdly shaped. It was round in some places, and straight in others. The sign on the wall read that this room was A ROOM THAT HAS A PIT OF ACID.'</p><p> </p><p>I had already been in this room, I realized. I had gone through the hidden door, up the metal fish slug(?) and picked up the meat. (While my mind's on it, where was I storing these things I kept picking up? I didn't have a backpack or anything, just a few pockets. Maybe I had some kind of inventory I could sense, but not see. Hm.)</p><p> </p><p>There were many strange posters in this room, surrounding the physics-defying pit of acid. I think I'd had done all I could in here, so I exited, and took a left to continue down the hallway.</p><p> </p><p>The next doorway was shaped like a hexagon and marked as 'LIFE-TRANSFERRING STATION.' I walked inside, and there was in fact, a life-transferring station. On one side, there was a large arrow with the words 'LIVING THING GOES HERE' and on the other side, an equally large arrow with the words 'DEAD ANIMAL GOES HERE.'</p><p> </p><p>The machine wasn't turned on, so I kneeled in front of the power panel to see what it needed to work.</p><p> </p><p>It had four screw-shaped holes in it, so I filled them up with the three screws I had gotten from the large vent in my room. I still needed one more, so I left to go find it.</p><p> </p><p>The last room was labeled 'SUBJECT #6553,' and I could only guess that it was Zach's room. I was correct. Again, there was nothing I could do without actively endangering myself, so I took a glance around his room, and caught sight of two orange sticky notes on a wall.</p><p> </p><p>They read in fancy cursive,</p><p>
  <em>Remember to feed Oswald (the monster)— he only eats live meat!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nit Wit</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Nit Wit, huh? That was a stupid name. Literally. What were their parents thinking when they named their kid Nit Wit?</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, there was a second sticky note next to the first. It read,</p><p>
  <em>Oh. I almost forgot! He doesn't eat what he can't smell. So find food w/ and aroma and put it where smell can easily spread.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nit Wit</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Easy enough, I guess. I had the meat with me. I almost left the room, but then I remembered to check under the cot. There was the last screw I needed for the life-transferring machine! Speaking of that machine...</p><p> </p><p>I could use the potted dirtflower for the living thing, and use the meat as the dead animal. That would certainly make it live meat.</p><p> </p><p>I put the final screw in its proper place, and the machine whirred to life, code continuously rising up the now active screen.</p><p> </p><p>I placed the potted dirtflower on the left side of the machine, and the meat on the right. I clicked the green arrow button, and there was a green energy that flew from the plant, through the machine, and over the meat. It didn't do anything though.</p><p> </p><p>That was simply a fail. Although, I think there's a reason the meat didn't survive with the plant's life. The plant was in a container filled with dirt, while the meat was sitting on the counter by itself. Perhaps it seemed a little wild, but I think the meat needed to be in the tray, but filled with dirt. I rushed back to the flower room, filled the tray with soil, and then cane back to the life-transferring station to test out my theory. I placed the steak in the tray, and pressed the green button, hoping my theory was correct and that it would work.</p><p> </p><p>To my surprise, it worked! The steak grew four strange, plant-liking limbs, and stood up on them. The plant died, and was replaced by a different dirtflower that popped up. The live meat was, uh, adorable, so I took the steak with me. Now I just needed an airy place that I could reap the monster in. My subject room had a large vent, and I had the proper keyboard to open it up, so I stuck the meat near the vent, walked outside, and used the flytrap machine to turn myself invisible.</p><p> </p><p>The monster smelt the meat and came barreling towards me. I braised myself, but stayed silent so the monster wouldn't think anything is amiss. Smart or not, anything would investigate a noise coming from nowhere. When the monster ran into my former cell, I quickly used the keycard to trap it. I took a breather, calming myself down. Dinner to go was not an option for Oswald anymore.</p><p> </p><p>I walked through the place the monster was guarding, and found myself in a strange hallway with all sorts of colored lights zooming by. I marveled for a moment at the white, translucent pathway I was walking on, but shook my head in determination. I had something to do.</p><p> </p><p>A screen came into my view. It looked important, but I could've been wrong. In blue text, it read:</p><p>
  <span class="u">ENTER THE CHILDREN'S DREAMS</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">IN THE CHAIR IN THE NEXT ROOM.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">THEIR DREAMS WILL ONLY END</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">WHEN, IN THEM, THEY MEET DOOM.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>I pondered.</p><p> </p><p>"Something's clicking inside my head," I said to myself. "My friends are physically protected by barriers. Because of this," I thought back to the shock I received when touching my sleeping friends. "I can't directly wake them up. However," I paused. "...My dream that went in into college stopped when I was killed." I looked at the sign again. '"<em>Their dreams when only end when, in them, they meet their doom.'</em> Which means... in order for me to save my friends," I realized, "I'll have to KILL them from within their dreams." I turned away from the sign. "I don't know if that would be unethical or not, but I guess I'll do anything in a dream that'll help my friends. It won't hurt them in real life, hopefully."</p><p> </p><p>I sighed, and continued down the psychedelic hallway, until I entered a room that had a only a chair in it. It was so big, it looked like a throne. On one of the arms, there was a number pad that would only fit four numbers on it. That must be for the room numbers! Or, the subject numbers. Whatever. I jogged out of the room over to the main area and decided to go to Zack first, since he was the closest.</p><p> </p><p>Ough, running after sleeping for a long time (and having nothing to eat.) was not good for the soul. (Wait. After thinking about it, I wasn't actually that hungry when I woke up. And I can only guess that I've been sleeping for at least a couple days, if not more. Had the static barriers also functioned as life support systems?)</p><p> </p><p>I walked back into the dream-chair room, with the ripe knowledge of Zack's subject number.</p><p> </p><p>"6553," I repeated to myself out loud, as I inputted the number on the num-pad and sat down. A shudder went through my body as a tingling haze enveloped me. I watched the white static for a moment, then closed my eyes and felt myself drift away.</p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Accessing...</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Analyzing Map System</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">&gt;Analyzation Process Complete</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">CHAPTER 2</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">ZACK'S DREAM</span>
</p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Phil felt himself come to. He was standing up. He looked around the room, realized he was in his middle school's band room. Everything was the same as the day when Phil escaped it. Well, when he dreamed he escaped it. He grimaced. Phil didn't really like middle school that much.</p><p> </p><p>"I'd like to kill Zack as fast as possible so I don't have to relive the seventh grade again," he muttered, shuddering.</p><p> </p><p>Phil did a double take.</p><p> </p><p>"That sounded more morbid than it was supposed to."</p><p> </p><p><em>'Anyway,</em>' he thought to himself, <em>'What's a good way to kill someone? Specifically, Zack. I thought back to what I did to escape, and remembered that when I blew the whistle the first time, Zack was so startled he froze completely. I think I could shatter him in that position.</em>'</p><p> </p><p>Phil turned to Phred, Who was leaning on his music stand. He was surprised it didn't fall over.</p><p> </p><p>He decided to play it cool, and not freak his friend out, even if this exact Phred just a computer simulation. "Hey Phred, could you help me escape school again?"</p><p> </p><p>He stayed in the position he was in, and responded, "I have a whistle, as if that's be useful."</p><p> </p><p>"Hm. It might help. Can I have it?"</p><p> </p><p>Phred flashed a smile. "Only if you have a dollar."</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah. I gathered up the four quarters that were lying around the room, and handed them over to Phred.</p><p> </p><p>"Here's my whistle for that dollar there," he tossed it to Phil. "I don't actually use it anyways."</p><p> </p><p>Phil paused.</p><p> </p><p>"...Déjà Vu," he muttered to himself.  He shook his head, and blew as hard as he could, which let out a very loud and sharp trilling noise that shook the whole room. He placed the whistle down near Phred's collapsed form and studied the room while he psyched himself  up for the thing he was about to do. Mr. O. Boe, Smiley, And Phred were all on the ground, and Zack was stuck, frozen in a block of ice of his own making. Phil walked towards him, looked around to make sure there were no witnesses, and shoved him to the ground. He crashed to the ground and his frozen body splintered into a lot of tiny pieces.</p><p> </p><p>Phil's mind became hazy again, and he felt himself wake up.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>I was awake again. I slid out the chair, a slight bit disoriented from the shift in persons. Zack was hopefully awake. I rushed over to his room, and found him shivering, but standing up.</p><p> </p><p>"Ah, Zack, you're awake!" I greeted him warmly. As warmly as I could for how cold he always was.</p><p> </p><p>He looked scarred. "...I th-thought I died..." he stuttered out. "...b-because, suddenly..." he bit his lip. "...I felt c-cold..."</p><p> </p><p>I was a little confused. "I thought you were always cold, Zack."</p><p> </p><p>He shook his head. "...I m-mean like, REALLY c-cold..."</p><p> </p><p>I kinda felt guilty, but I knew that killing him was the only way to save him. That still sounded wrong. "Well, that doesn't matter now." Time to break the news. "We're in a space station. I can't explain everything, but there are escape pods downstairs."</p><p> </p><p>"...Oh, r-really? I g-guess I'll get going."</p><p> </p><p>I walked him out and downstairs, and when he hopped in one of the escape pods and blasted off to safety, I walked to Smiley's room and tried to memorize the number. "1831," I repeated to myself as I inputted it on the number pad and sat down.</p><p> </p><p>I felt the haziness of sleep overtake me, and drifted off.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">&gt;Accessing...</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">&gt;Analyzing Map System</span>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">&gt;Analyzation Process Complete</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">CHAPTER 3</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">SMILEY'S DREAM</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Phil blinked his eyes open. He definitely recognized this place.</p><p> </p><p>'<em>Ah,</em>' he though to himself. <em>'The familiar Mr. Soggy's class from my dream. If possible, I'm gonna kill Smiley quickly and painlessly.</em>' He paused again. '<em>That sounds bad. But it's for a good cause.</em>'</p><p> </p><p>Phil thought back to his original actions when escaping high school. He knew he had a rubber band at hand that he could sabotage the teacher with, so he gathered his materials (old chewing gum and a ruler), and fished the price of rubber out of the vent near Mr. Soggy.</p><p> </p><p>Phil took aim, and fired. Mr. Soggy's glasses fell off spectacularly, with a very nonchalant "I'm blind! I can't see!"</p><p> </p><p>Now what? Smiley really liked school, so she would've wanted the lesson to go on. Phil took a glance at the very sharp point on top of the globe. He devised a plan.</p><p> </p><p>"On no." He said, with a fake (and very thin) air of panic. "Soggy's glasses fell onto the floor. It sure is too bad he can't teach without them on."</p><p> </p><p>Smiley took the bait. She frowned, got up, and stood near the dangerous globe, about to reach down and pick up the glasses, when Phil struck.</p><p> </p><p>Phil grabbed her legs and pulled them out from under her. Instead of being impaled on the globe's point (which honestly, he did not want to see), her face engulfed the globe in a very healthy way. Phil was very glad that this was not a real thing that happened, because it was very upsetting to see.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>The simulation ended quicker than it had begun, and I rushed over to Smiley's door to find her safe and sound.</p><p> </p><p>"Smiley, do you have any idea where we are?" I asked. If she did know, it would save me having to tell the bad news.</p><p> </p><p>"All I can say is, I think I just woke up from a really long dream." Yeah, that was a it it.</p><p> </p><p>"Sort of." I shrugged. "We're subjects if mind-altering, from what I've gathered. Oh yeah," I almost forgot. "and we're not on Earth anymore, but that can be fixed." I pointed towards the hallway with a thumb. "There are escape pods on the bottom floor of this facility."</p><p> </p><p>Smiley's face split into a happy grin. "Well, that'd be something to smile about. I guess I'll see you on Earth!"</p><p> </p><p>I walked her out, glanced at Phred's door to memorize the numbers (it was only 7272, so it was easy enough), and then I walked Smiley to the escape pods. She blasted off in one, so I made my way back to the dream chair, inputted Phred's subject numbers, 7272, and closed my eyes as my mind drifted away.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>&gt;Accessing...</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>&gt;Analyzing Map System</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>&gt;Analyzation Process Complete</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>CHAPTER 4</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>PHRED'S DREAM</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Phil was in college, in his adult body. '<em>I remember this room.</em>' he looked around. <em>'Nobody's here. I think class just hasn't started yet.</em>' Hold on.</p><p> </p><p>"Wait a minute," an image of when he was last in the room flashed across his mind. "Phred never had a seat in this classroom..." this didn't quite make sense. "So how's this his dream?"</p><p> </p><p>A casual, "Hey, Phil?" broke him out of his musing. He turned to find his friend of many years standing in the doorway. "Is this Mr. McMaster's room?" Phred asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh..." Now was his chance. "<em>...yyes.</em>" he smiled 'convincingly.' "...Yes, you're in the right place.</p><p> </p><p>"Cool," Phred extended a thumbs up. "Industry wanted to make sure I didn't get killed or something." Of course not! Perfectly safe in here.</p><p> </p><p>Now, the way Mr. Munch had killed Phil last time was a button on his desk. Phil looked around Mr. Munich's desk, and found a note on the ground. It read,</p><p>
  <em>Description of Phil Eggtree given 2 me:</em>
</p><p><em>•Bald</em> (True, true.)</p><p>•<em>Looks like this</em> (there was a circle with two dots; a very simple drawing of his face)</p><p>•<em>Always wears green</em> (Phil was slightly offended. Just because he wore a green hoodie all the time, didn't mean it was the only color he wore. Oh, wait.)</p><p> </p><p><em>He needs 2 sit in the desk closest 2 the door so I can kill him.</em> (Now there was a very crude drawing of the room, with its six chairs and one desk. The chair closet to the bottom right was circled twice and labeled 'Phil's Desk.'</p><p> </p><p>So. Phil had to make Phred wear his green hoodie. He spotted the thermostat in one corner of the room, and thought up a quick plan.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Phred."</p><p> </p><p>"What's up?"</p><p> </p><p>"Would you like to wear my sweatshirt?"</p><p> </p><p>Phred shrugged. "You're sweatshirt IS quite nice, but I actually think it's sorta hot in here."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, it could just be you. That, or there's a pit of lava below the classroom."</p><p> </p><p>"Eh, sounds pretty good either way."</p><p> </p><p>Phil walked over to the thermostat and turned it down so the room was now relatively cold.</p><p> </p><p>"Now, would you like to wear my sweatshirt?"</p><p> </p><p>"I guess it IS a little cold in here, and your sweatshirt DOES look comfy. All right, hand it over. I'll put it on before class starts."</p><p> </p><p>To pass the minutes waiting for Mr. Munch and the other students to arrive, Phil engaged in classic conversation with his friend.</p><p> </p><p>"How have you been?"</p><p> </p><p>"Not bad, not great, so I guess I've been alright. My favorite thing to do right now is nothing. I've discovered that's hard to do when people act like morons."</p><p> </p><p>"That is so right." Phil nodded sagely. "Have you ever seen a drooling platypus?"</p><p> </p><p>Phred rose to the challenge. "I can't say I have. I saw a galloping sea-horse the other day, however."</p><p> </p><p>"Drooling platypi beat galloping sea-horses any day of the week."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, in that case, I hope your drooling platypus chokes on its own spit."</p><p> </p><p>Phil made a shocked face and put his hand to his chest in mock horror. He and his friend shared a grin at each other's antics.</p><p> </p><p>They started talking about lame future carriers when the rest of the students filed unto the room, followed by the intimidating teacher. This kicked Phil into gear. '<em>Oh, right.</em>' He remembered. '<em>I'm about to see Phred fall to his fiery death.</em>'</p><p> </p><p>Once everyone had sat down, Phred shifted in his seat to look at the teacher. That's when there was a small movement on the teacher's desk, followed by a small <em>click!</em> And then Phred was falling.</p><p> </p><p>He let out a horrible scream as he fell, and just as suddenly as he was gone, so was Phil.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>I hopped out of the dream chair, and headed over to Phred's room to greet him.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Phred." I waved casually, as if he hadn't just died right in front of me.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh, hi?" He looked around confused from where he stood near the dingy little cot he had just spent many false years of his life in. "I don't know WHAT'S going. Do you?"</p><p> </p><p>Well, I sorta knew. I gestured him to follow me, and he did. "I know some things about altered dreams, but let's skip that part. We are in some faculty in space that's close to Earth. Conveniently for us, there are four escape pods on the bottom floor of this place."</p><p> </p><p>"I knew it." Phred pointed at me as we walked down the blue ramp. "You always figure everything out before anyone else does." It was a talent. "Well, thanks for the into, but it'll be great to be somewhere familiar."</p><p> </p><p>"More familiar than space?" I joked, as he blasted off into safety. Now that all my friends were free, it was time for me to leave.</p><p> </p><p>I hopped in the remaining pod and it lifted off, towards Earth.</p><p> </p><p>I only had the chance to briefly admire the view before a sudden lurch stopped me dead. I couldn't even look around; I was completely frozen. What the flozwad is happening?? There was some sort of green aura around the me, dragging me off course.</p><p> </p><p>I landed... in an entirely different ship?! I looked around, only to see Smiley and Phred in suspended cages, and Zack held up in a strange crystal-sort-of-thing by some invisible force.</p><p> </p><p>"This is a bit unnerving." I said to the air.</p><p> </p><p>"<strong>Marvelous, isn't it?</strong>" A strange voice said. I looked down to meet the speaker's eyes, or apparently, sunglasses, as he <em>rose up from a pool of freaking lava.</em></p><p> </p><p>The very bright red alien with four arms perched on his hips, (and had admittedly really cool sunglasses) greeted me. "<strong>I am Viz,</strong>" he said, with an intimidating air. "<em>Decider of your world's fate.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>Understandably, I was a bit confused. "Uh, nice to meet you." I said. "What exactly is going on here?"</p><p> </p><p>The alien, Viz as he called himself, grimaced and turned to his right. "<strong>Why don't you ask that cowardly traitor over there?</strong>"</p><p> </p><p>I turned to see another alien, green this time, with only two arms.</p><p> </p><p>A motion out of the corner of my eyes led me to discover that Viz was way up in my personal space. He held up his hand, and the keycard I almost had forgotten I had with me <em>flew amount of my pocket and into his outstretched hand</em>. Oh my god, he has telekinesis. I'm doomed.</p><p> </p><p>It was only a second later that he had left my area and appeared at the door behind me. He used the keycard to open the door and leave. Superspeed <em>and</em> telekinesis?! Now <em>that</em> was just plan unfair.</p><p> </p><p>The only thing I could do in that situation was (hopefully) get answers. I turned to Mr. Green over there and spoke up. "So, cowardly traitor, what exactly is going on here?" Hey, I was just double-abducted by aliens. Or maybe just once by the same group of aliens. I had a right to be a little snarky here and there. Also I didn't know what else to call him.</p><p> </p><p>He answered me calmly. "<em>I am a traitor, but not to you.</em>" He looked away, as if ashamed. "<em>My name is Diz.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>Wait. "Diz. I recognize that name. And Viz, too. Weren't you in that meeting in the transmission before I woke up from my dream? You said you were planning to..." I had to think for a moment. "freeze the Earth?"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>None of this will make sense unless I start from the very beginning.</em>" He turned back to me. "<em>It began... with Vizion.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Vizion was a project started by our leader, Viz, the one you just saw. He felt it was his duty to decide the fate of every planet in the universe. His planet-by-planet journey began with your planet, Earth.</em>" At least there weren't any other planets decimated by this egomaniac. "<em>Nobody was in agreement to his plan, of course. But we are under his rule. He gave his minions one chance to prove Earth wasn't worth erasing.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>The story came to life in front of my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>We built a local time-stopping mine and set it outside of an Earth school.</em>" Oh no. "<em>As it would turn out, the school was Riddle Elementary school, where you were.</em>" Oh no... "<em>Our hope was that nobody would escape the school...</em>" It was all my fault, wasnt it?</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Unfortunately, that day was the very same day you left the school early. Time throughout Earth stopped, and Viz was convinced Earth had evil intent.</em>" Are you kidding me? "<em>He ordered us to abduct you and your friends before restoring Earth's time.</em>" All because of one kid's dumb decision... "<em>Viz had a plan to use your evils and powers against you to destroy Earth.</em>" ...The Earth was doomed?</p><p> </p><p>"<em>We has to look into your minds, hence the idea of giving you altered dreams. We even changed your clothes a few times to see it that affected your thoughts.</em>" Ok, that was just plain gross.</p><p> </p><p>Then I realized something. "So it was Viz all along with these plans... Where does your being a traitor come into the equation?"</p><p> </p><p>Again, Diz looked away ashamed. "<em>Death was the only thing that could separate you from your dream. Alterations to dreams can be easily detected by just about anyone.. So I could only wake you up if I killed you in your dream. After all, death is the only thing that could wake any of you up.</em>" I remembered the out-of-place looking poster decorated by a certain green alien from my high school days. How had I not noticed that before?</p><p> </p><p>"<em>I did not go unseen, however. It was only a matter of time before I was found out.</em>" I remembered my brief stint in college. "<em>I went the full mile and altered the mind of Mr. Munch, your last dream teacher. I sat behind you and watched the execution yo be sure everything went well. That is why you didn't see me when you went to the same room in Phred's dream. By that time, I was where I am standing now. The transmitter message you heard was a recording from another time. I transmitted it to you again when I knew you were about to wake up. I did it so that you would know Viz's plans for your world. And now, he's taking Zack's freezing genes to power up a giant laser.</em>" That was messed up."<em>Not long from now, it will have charged enough to freeze Earth.</em>" What?! Then what are we doing just standing here?</p><p> </p><p>"<em>...I have only been trying to help you, so you could save your friends.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>I couldn't help but be sarcastic. "Good job."</p><p> </p><p>A light appeared underneath where Zack was being suspended. Oh shoot. "Is that the laser charging?" I asked, only slightly panicked.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>If nothing is done, your world will be solid ice.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"Not cool."</p><p> </p><p>The door opened behind us, and Viz walked out. "<strong>Sorry, Diz. The window view is reserved for the children.</strong>" What?</p><p> </p><p>Viz used his telekinesis to through Diz behind the door, and the keycard to close it. I was getting no help from him.</p><p> </p><p>Viz grinned evilly when the keycard flew back into his hand. "<strong>I'm so sorry I ran out of cages to trap you and your friends in.</strong>" Oh you will be sorry. "<strong>You'll still enjoy the show, won't you?</strong>" he asked condescendingly.</p><p> </p><p>I blinked. "Somehow I really doubt that."</p><p> </p><p>He dropped the keycard on the lava, getting rid of it. "<strong>I'm sure it will be an unforgettable spectacle.</strong>" If it was even possible, he grinned even wider. "<strong>...Which is why I plan to watch it on my own ship without distractions.</strong>" He held up the two of his uppermost arms, as if presenting something. "<strong>Prepare yourself...</strong>" he paused for dramatic (and evil) effect. "<strong>...for the Grand Finale.</strong>"</p><p> </p><p>With those words, he sank into the lava, and a ship that looked almost exactly like his face flew away from the front of the ship.</p><p> </p><p>I took a quick glance around. It was time for me to get to work saving the world.</p><p> </p><p>To my left and right, there were two of those Venus flytrap statues that was on the ship I was previously trapped on. Last time, it turned me invisible. I hope they do something different, this time. On my right, there was a sink and a nailed in wooden panel on the ceiling. I had to get that open somehow. On my left, there was a code desk, a tile device, a strange circle pattern on the wall, and a light screen on the ceiling.</p><p> </p><p>The code desk puzzle was easy. I just had to click the buttons as many times as their numbers indicated. The panel under the buttons opened up to reveal a key. As I put it in my pocket, I realized I still had the cool alien coin with me. It was good for unscrewing things, if I needed it.</p><p> </p><p>Again with the tile puzzle. I had to light up the numbers with the 4, 7, 0, and 1 again. I had to click through the tiles as fast as possible because I did <em>not</em> have time to mess around here.</p><p> </p><p>I finally completed it, and the statues lit up, just like the one on the previous ship. I pressed the one of the right side, hoping it would help me.</p><p> </p><p>A sudden rush of vertigo and a threat of puking later, I was standing <em>on the ceiling</em>. No time to ruminate on the physics of that, this was alien technology, what're you gonna do.</p><p> </p><p>The light screen puzzle only required me to copy the circle pattern that was above it. I mean below it. Once I inputted the correct pattern, the panel closed, and a mug shot out of a tube and smashed on the ground near the sink.</p><p> </p><p>How to get down? I rushed to the other side of the ceiling and pressed a button. It transported me the right-side-up, in the middle of the room. Let's see, let's see. If I fixed the mug and maybe I unscrewed the sink faucet, I could pick up some lava and use it to melt the wooden board above me. I grabbed the nearby Tooth-Ultra-Paste, and fixed the mug so I could enact my plan.</p><p> </p><p>The mug was filled with lava, held aloft by the separated faucet. Somehow, the mug didn't melt. Did I know that would happen? Couldn't I of just used the faucet like a crowbar on the nails to take the wooden panel down that way? Those were not questions I wanted to think about.</p><p> </p><p>Another rush of vertigo later, and the wooden panel melted like butter, and I had to use the key I had acquired earlier to open the open access device. I looked up (down? Up? Whatever) and the lava was covered up by an encroaching floor. I pressed the teleport button and got into place to steer the ship.</p><p> </p><p>I knew Viz would be sorry. I turned the ship away from the Earth and to Viz's obnoxious looking ship.</p><p> </p><p>"<em><strong>Soon, this planet will be covered in a coat of ice.</strong></em>"</p><p> </p><p>The whole time, the freezing laser's whirrr got louder and louder as it charged up.</p><p> </p><p>"<strong><em>...Yes...</em></strong>"</p><p> </p><p>The laser let out a soft ding! indicating that it was finished charging.</p><p> </p><p>"<strong><em>Because evil-doers deserve a taste of their own evil!</em></strong>"</p><p> </p><p>The laser fired. Viz's ship was completely frozen in jagged ice, as the the force of the beam rocketed it backwards into an oncoming asteroid. It exploded in a shower of crystals, and I knew that Viz was no more.</p><p> </p><p>The back door opened. I turned to see a smiling Diz holding a remote. "<em>Amazing!</em>" he congratulated me. "<em>You saves Earth AND disposed of our wretched leader simultaneously!</em>" He pointed at the remote in his hand. "<em>I managed to escape with this remote I found that used to be Viz's. Maybe I can use this remote to free your friends.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>I looked at Phred's cage. "With all that happened today, that's not a bad assumption." I looked back at Diz. "Well, give it a go. It's worth a shot."</p><p> </p><p>The green lasers that were present on the cages disappeared. Phred, who was leaning against the wall, look around surprised and hopped down. Smiley, who was sitting down, slid off with her classic smile on her face. Zack, who was still in his suspended state, fell completely gracefully on the floor before getting up without a scratch.</p><p> </p><p>They all walked up to Diz and I.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>I'm pretty sure I know how to drive the ship we're in. You'll all be back to your homes before you know it.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>The whole time, Zack was looking at his hands in amazement. "...I'm not cold anymore..." he didn't stutter out. "...This feels amazing!" Suddenly, his head burst out in flames. He glanced up at it, surprised, but didn't seem to bothered, so we left it be.</p><p> </p><p>"I may have learned something from his experience." Inputted Smiley. "Friends really can come from anywhere..." she tilted her head and grinned. "...even space!"</p><p> </p><p>Phred rested his hand behind his head. "All my life, I've been devoted to doing at little as possible." He put his hand down decidedly. "Witnessing everything Phil has done helped me realize... Even a world as big as ours can be affected by what one person does." Well said, Phred.</p><p> </p><p>It was my turn now. "I guess I should say I learned a lot from this experience." I met Diz's eyes. "But really? Only one lesson I learned today really stands out to me." Here comes the cheesiness.</p><p> </p><p>"Stay in school," I said, with finality.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six (RT1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were going home.</p><p> </p><p>They were going home!</p><p> </p><p>The four kids stood in awe at the majesty of the Earth, filling up the view from the spaceship they were riding in. All was serene.</p><p> </p><p>Diz, the stereotypical alien who was piloting the ship, broke the silence.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Well, now that your world is saved and our sadistic leader Viz is gone from this universe,</em>" he looked up, "<em>What do you all plan to accomplish when you return to your life on Earth?"</em></p><p> </p><p>Everyone was silent for a moment, thinking, and Zack, human fireplace, stepped up.</p><p> </p><p>"Uh... Personally I plan to find a cure for this fever I've developed. Drinking a couple thousand gallons of ice water might help a little."</p><p> </p><p>Right. The fire that was continually flaming on his head. With how freezing he had been for years, it was a wonder he wasn't bothered by the heat.</p><p> </p><p>As the children were standing in a sort of line, Smiley, the eager schooler she was decided to go next.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll continue my search for knowledge and use what I know to help others." She put a finger to her chin, pensively. "Reading the encyclopedia might be fun."</p><p> </p><p>Ah Smiley. Always so kind, and eager to learn. I'd never admit it, but I sort of... admire her.</p><p> </p><p>Phred, the so-called helping hand, looked up from the floor and spoke up next.</p><p> </p><p>"I haven't really thought about what I'll do when I get back," he admitted. "I guess what I'll do when I get back, is think of what I'll do when I get back."</p><p> </p><p>Ah, well, that's to be expected from my lazy friend. Nothing wrong with that at all I say, especially since we've already gone through a lifetime together with him being as lazy as ever, and it usually working out.</p><p> </p><p>Now it was my turn. The stalwart leader. I had an inkling of what to do, I guess.</p><p> </p><p>"As for me..." I started-</p><p> </p><p>Out of nowhere, a sudden brightness flashed against our eyes, blinding us for a second. As I waited for the spots to disappear, I looked over to my friends and found them as confused as I was.</p><p> </p><p>"What's going on?" Phred voiced our thoughts as Diz turned the steering, with a worrying look on his face.</p><p> </p><p>"Why have we stopped?" Zack spoke up, drawing my attention to the fact that, we actually have stopped our gentle cruise.</p><p> </p><p>A strange white aura was peeking around the ship through the windows.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Something is controlling the ship,</em>" Diz said, perplexed. It was a large tracker beam, coming from somewhere on the big beautiful ball in front of us.</p><p> </p><p>Diz pulled out the remote to the ship and frantically pushed a button, as if to do anything significant.</p><p> </p><p>Well, that's good, right? We were heading to Earth anyway.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>It's taking us off-course!</em>" Of course it was.</p><p> </p><p>There was nothing we could do but watch as the tractor beam stole us down surprisingly slowly, taking us to a strange and tall gray building surrounded by in-the-middle-of-nowhere desert.</p><p> </p><p>A large sign on the building, labeling it as 'Zone 5.1' gave me a hint as for what kind of operation was happening.</p><p> </p><p>As we landed, many openings rose up from the ground and lots of people with guns came rushing out. We were all so shocked, so we weren't really panicking at first. Judging by the large faculty, vague labeling, and mysterious agent-looking fellows in all black with sunglasses and guns, I could only assume we were heading to a high-security government facility. From a spaceship. With an alien in our midst. Going off of the many movies I've seen, this could only end well.</p><p> </p><p>Smiley's frantic exclamation of "What are we going to do?!" shook me out of my stupor, but before anyone could even respond, the bay doors let out a loud sound as the agents tried to bust their way in. A red circle drew itself on our side of the door as they sliced an opening, kicked down the now useless pieces of metal, and came storming in, much to everyone's horror.</p><p> </p><p>It all happened so fast. They pointed their guns at all of us but before we could even surrender, we were grabbed, handcuffed, and dragged out of the ship, through the sand, and into our doom. For some weird reason, Zack was stuffed in a cage I think? I couldn't see and then we were all being taken in different directions and then—</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>Black. Darkness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bleariness. Heavy eyelids.</p><p> </p><p>Struggling to regain sense of anything.</p><p> </p><p>Was that... Light?</p><p> </p><p>I was... Waking up?</p><p> </p><p>Where...</p><p> </p><p>Where was I—</p><p> </p><p>I sat up quickly, everything coming to me all at once.</p><p> </p><p>Oh god, we were... Then... And now...</p><p> </p><p>I looked around. Oh no. Not again.</p><p> </p><p>"Well." I said to myself, astonished. "I was hoping for a new beginning." Hopefully whatever deity was listening liked to laugh at my jokes. "I just didn't think it would look like this."</p><p> </p><p>Well, get up, Phil. Time to get to work on escaping, like you always do.</p><p> </p><p>I stood up from my paper-thin bedding and very uncomfortable pillow, to lay witness to the fact that I was trapped. Again. This time, I was in a sorta containment cell, with a metal door and a glass wall. The toilet and sink were in clear view of the outside (gross), a completely empty vent (no toilet paper or rubber band this time), and two weird posters. Outside of my cell, there was a T.V. screen (Does that say TELEVISION or TELEVIZION? I can't tell from how tiny the lettering is) with a keypad shown broadcasting the numbers 78255. I could only guess that those numbers were the not-so-secrets to my success.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, my tiny elementary schooler arms were too short to reach the dialpad. I had to look around for some kind of stick thing. The only place that was directly out of my view was in the toilet lid, so I checked there.</p><p> </p><p>There were... things in there that I couldn't describe. Ravishingly decor, I went with. I pulled off the toilet flusher (kinda gross, but desperate times call for desperate measures) and inputted the code to the door. It was very hard, since I couldn't exactly see the numbers, but I made it work.</p><p> </p><p>I was free! I took one last glance at my room to read the label above my door (They spelt my name right? That's less believable than getting abducted by aliens!) before opening the exit door slowly to check for and guards. No point in causing a ruckus.</p><p> </p><p>Above my containment room, there was a sign that had rain on it. I didn't know what that meant, so I turned right into a room with an empty box on the door.</p><p> </p><p>There were lots of boxes labeled 'EMPTY BOX' and one labeled 'NOT EMPTY BOX.' I checked, and every single of them were empty. There was a blank sticky note on the wall, and a punch of papers on a corkboard. I lifted up each of the papers and found a key, which I swiftly grabbed as my own.</p><p> </p><p>The next room to enter was a long dark corridor, which lead to a... goat enclosure? I read the sign. Ok, so a Goat-<em>Man</em> enclosure. Not weird at all. There was a chalkboard with strange reminders, an odd device on the wall (which I picked up, it looked useful), a colorful countryside mural, a tube... pipe... thing, a smoke detector, a 'days since last accident sign, and of course, a goat. The goat was looking down sadly at the dull grass.</p><p> </p><p>The odd device I had picked up said 'Creature Communicator' on the side, so I decided to use it on the goat.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, goat guy."</p><p> </p><p>In clear English, the goat responded. "Hello. What's up?"</p><p> </p><p>I don't know why I was so surprised at the speaking goat, but I was. I guess it was time to ask some questions, huh.</p><p> </p><p>"Why is there 'Man' at the end of your name?"</p><p> </p><p>"No idea." If a goat could shrug, it would've. "I'm really just a goat. I was having the time of my life, eating grass and strange mushrooms. Then, I was taken away, mistaken for a mythical creature."</p><p> </p><p>"So you were... 'kid'-napped?!"</p><p> </p><p>It narrowed its eyes at me. "I hate puns."</p><p> </p><p>Ok then. Next question. "How are you today?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm..." it paused. "sad. Grass is my favorite thing to eat in the whole world. But this grass tastes so bland. It isn't anything like the grass I used to eat. It's enough grass to last a lifetime, sure, but what's the point if it doesn't taste like grass?" I could name something that did taste like grass, though. That weird drink Chloro-Fill. It's kinda gross, but I'm pretty sure Goat-Man would've loved it.</p><p> </p><p>"You just said 'grass' five times." Is what I did respond. "Anyway, I really can't relate to your problem, but I'd like to help out. If it's not too personal, where do you... do your business?"</p><p> </p><p>The goat scoffed. "I don't do my bushings here in the grass. No grass deserves that. There's a great little drain in the ground that flushes itself automatically. I'd show it to you, guys it's offscreen." ...What?</p><p> </p><p>"I'd rather not see it, to be honest. What's that random pipe-looking thing on the ceiling?"</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know, but occasionally soda cans and cereal boxes fall out of it."</p><p> </p><p>"That's really random. Are the cans and boxes empty?"</p><p> </p><p>"Every time. Always disappointing."</p><p> </p><p>I had a hunch that the tube was actually a recycling can. No way to test it out, that I could see. I would've asked about the smoke detector, but do I really need to? It's function was pretty obvious. I had only one thing left to say.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you have a brother named Billy?"</p><p> </p><p>The goat glared harder at me. "I hate puns."</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah. Welp. "Communicate with you later," I waved.</p><p> </p><p>I walked outside of the enclosure, back to the hallway. At the opposite end of the hallway, there was an elevator. Apparently, I was on the floor F2. There was also a calander, that was X'ed out until the date of September 14th, which was labeled as 'Zone 5.1 Guard Agent's Annual Day Off.' Oh thank goodness. I could barely believe how lucky I was.</p><p> </p><p>I entered the elevator to find five buttons and a keyhole. I used the key and unlocked access to the different floors. Those floors being B2, B1, F1, F2, and F3. I decided to go from the basement up, just to keep track of everything.</p><p> </p><p>The lowest floor, B2, was a dark gray, unlike my floor's deep blue. The hallway had a giant manhole in the middle of the floor, which I filed away for future use. You never knew when you needed to escape using the sewers, after all.</p><p> </p><p>Also unlike my floor, this main hallway only had two doorways. One hallway, and one with a sign above it, showing off the night sky. I walked through the side hallway, into another enclosure.</p><p> </p><p>This one was huge, and had a giant reptilian-looking creature, who was sitting in what-looked-like a swimming pool. Did I mention that it was wearing a top hat? There was a giant sign that said 'Mock Mess Monster.' I greeted the creature.</p><p> </p><p>"Good day," I said politely.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want?" The Mock Mess Monster barked out.</p><p> </p><p>They needed a nickname. "So, do you go by Messie?"</p><p> </p><p>"That's what everybody in this stupid landfill calls me. It's extra frustrating because I can't tell if they're saying my name or calling me a messy animal."</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, I guess it could go either way with you."</p><p> </p><p>"Sheesh, you're almost as bad as they are."</p><p> </p><p>I shrugged. "How are you today?" Messie hadn't looked happy the entire time I was there, but I figured I would ask them anyway.</p><p> </p><p>"I pretty much feel like eating my whole body starting with my head."</p><p> </p><p>Yikes. "Does that mean you're angry, or you're hungry?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm homesick, and sick of my home. This place is a freaking toilet hole, for crying out loud." Toilet hole, huh? "That's not even a metaphor. I sometimes get taken out of it so the agents can flush the water." I had a toilet flusher with me. If there was a valve or something nearby, I could flush Messie away with the water.</p><p> </p><p>"How can you blame them? It's <em>Messie</em> water," I joked.</p><p> </p><p>They grumbled grumpily. "...Baldheaded nuisance kid."</p><p> </p><p>"How old are you?"</p><p> </p><p>"I turned sixty-six billion, one hundred forty-five thousand, nine hundred thirty-two today."</p><p> </p><p>"Wow. That's a lot of birthdays."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, but my birthdays bite. Nobody ever celebrates them." That sucked. "On my birthday nine years ago, I was stolen and forced to live in this pathetic excuse for a lake." That double-sucked.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, happy birthday."</p><p> </p><p>"Pff. Thanks. I'll be looking forward to spending the rest of my life in this dumpy bathtub." Not if I had anything to do with that.</p><p> </p><p>"So, where did you live before you were put in here?"</p><p> </p><p>"I used to live somewhere that I could <em>live</em>—Mock Mess Lake. It was a large lake. I found foot on my own and observed the steady course of nature around me..." they sighed and looked sad. "Every day was interesting because of the countless tourists inspecting the area. Not to mention, I had a lot of friends in Mock Mess, both in the lakebed and out of the water. I long to go back, but it's a lost hope, and there's no lost-and-found here." Yes, but there was me. And I was an expert at escaping places. "Well, not unless you count this puddle. I keep everything I find here before it gets flushed away."</p><p> </p><p>"Who knows? I might be able to help you. What's down there?"</p><p> </p><p>Their large head swooped into the water, picked up something in their mouth, and gave it to me. It was small, and rectangular...</p><p> </p><p>"Here's some card thing that an agent dropped one time while feeding me." Yes!! It was a keycard! Those were <em>always</em> useful. "It says 'Power Room' on it, so I would assume it opens a room with access to power. But if it's mislabel and you get crushed into a powder or run over by a mower, don't whine to me." Ouch, but fair.</p><p> </p><p>"Right. I'll keep that in mind, I guess. Hey, rumors have been floating around that you're just a log."</p><p> </p><p>"You know that photograph of me that's been blown out of proportion?"</p><p> </p><p>"The black and white one?"</p><p> </p><p>"It really is just a picture of a log." Wow. Mind blown.</p><p> </p><p>I was about to get out of there, when I spotted a hose and picked it up. Why did I even want this? I didn't even know.</p><p> </p><p>"Communicate with you later!" I waved goodbye, and I walked away, just in time forms to hear, "Beat it, bowling ball brain." Oof.</p><p> </p><p>One more room, then onto the next floor. There was another metal doorway, with spikes in the middle and two red eyes above them. Was this door sentient?</p><p> </p><p>Time to test it out. "Sorry to intrude."</p><p> </p><p>The spikes chomped down on each other, to simulate taking. "Sorry, you're an intruder," the door said. "If only I was connected to an alarm system, I could end you right now."</p><p> </p><p>"I don't mean to spread trouble. I'm actually trying to get out of it. Do you mind keeping your mouth open so I can enter the room you're guarding?"</p><p> </p><p>"Ha!" The door barked out metallically. "My teeth could turn you into coleslaw before you could get through me."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not the only one who would like to come in, though. I plan to bring all my friends here, too."</p><p> </p><p>"You're three human friends? The ones that are TRAPPED? I'd like to seem them even GET here. That would be worth a laugh. (Actually is get majorly ticked off if that happened. Don't get any bright ideas.)"</p><p> </p><p>Well you better prepare to get ticked off then. "Too late." I turned away, now even more determined to get my friends out of this joint. I clicked the button for floor B1, and was presented with a whiteish hallway.</p><p> </p><p>I turned left and entered the side-hallway. It led me to an icy room, a sign saying They Negotiable Snowman,' and shy creature peeking around a frozen corner of the room.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi there," I said with the creature communicator.</p><p> </p><p>"H-hello..."</p><p> </p><p>"What kind of creature are you?"</p><p> </p><p>"My friends call my Yeddy. Also I have no friends." That sucked. "Will you be my friend?"</p><p> </p><p>Eh. "I think friends come naturally. I don't just wanna make friends with anyone who asks."</p><p> </p><p>Yeddy made a terrifying face and yelled, "<strong>BE MY FRIEND.</strong>"</p><p> </p><p>"Woah. Okay then. How are you today?"</p><p> </p><p>Yeddy made the same terrifying face, with barred teeth, and snarled, "I BURN WITH THE FURY OF FIVE HUNDRED MILLIONS SUNS." Jeez, dude.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p> </p><p>He calmed down very quickly. "Actually no, I'm perfectly content. Can't complain." Then what was that about—? Whatever.</p><p> </p><p>"...You're polar <em>and</em> bipolar. Hey, you've got an <em>ice</em> place here."</p><p> </p><p>"...Were those puns?" Yeddy asked tenderly.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," I nodded. Once I did that, Yeddy made such a hurt and sad face that it actually made me feel a bit bad. "Anyway, what's the smoke detector for?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's diverse hotheads won't come Uh and melt all the ice." I guess Zack was considered a hothead now, huh. "I HATE HOTHEADS." Yikes.</p><p> </p><p>"That's some first-class hypocrisy right there. It looks like you don't have a whole lot of hair.</p><p> </p><p>"I AM VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY BARENESS." Whoops.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, there's nothing to be ashamed if. I don't gave any hair, myself."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that's a nice thing to say, but I don't need comfort. WHAT I NEED IS HAIR. Sorry. I just don't have fond memories of when my hair was shaved off. I'd pay you... a die that I found in a board game big, if you get me my hair back." I didn't really need a die right now, but it wouldn't be bad to have it. The hard part was figuring out where to get the hair from.</p><p> </p><p>"Interesting trade..." I said. "Which board game?"</p><p> </p><p>"It's called 'Learning-2-Shave.' <em>Terrible</em> game." Yeah, I could see why. Welp, that's all I could think to ask.</p><p> </p><p>"Communicate with you later," I left him.</p><p> </p><p>The next door was very cool looking. It looked like a circuit board, and it had a card reader next to it, so I used my recently-acquired keycard to open the door.</p><p> </p><p>There were lots of screens, but the only two I were interested in were the pipeline shifter, and the guard door power. I'd rather the guard door's power be on so it could open, so I left the button alone for now, and turned to the pipeline shifter. This could be the way to get Messie out of their enclosure!</p><p> </p><p>The pipelines would only function if a certain crossing pipe was in the center, it was a bit tough to maneuver each pipe around without messing the whole thing up.</p><p> </p><p>It was surprisingly easy to move the pieced around in their proper places. I think I just got lucky. There was a flush command that was missing a flusher, so I used the flusher handle I had brought with me.</p><p> </p><p>I turned the handle, heard a muffled flushing water sound, and I knew that Messie was where they belonged. I left the screen room. The sign above the next door was an early sunrise. Or it was a late sunset. I was never too good at figuring those things out. I walked into the door, only to find... Phred!</p><p> </p><p>"...Phil!" he said, with an energy I hadn't seen in him in a long while.</p><p> </p><p>"Phred!" I responded, just as happily.</p><p> </p><p>"It's great to see you got out of... wherever you were. I haven't had the same luck with finding a way out of this dump."</p><p> </p><p>"Dump is right. You really got the shaft with this room." How was it worse than mine?</p><p> </p><p>"I really think the people who put it in here took a bathroom and added an extra wall." That would make sense. "Anyways, I'd really love to get out of here, but I can't do that by myself, so..."</p><p> </p><p>"I'll get you out. We could make a team effort."</p><p> </p><p>"Yep. Since there's a <em>lot</em> I can do behind a wall of extremely dense glass." Oh. Right.</p><p> </p><p>"...Okay, so it'll be more like what children's television shows consider a 'team effort.'"</p><p> </p><p>"Sounds like a party to me."</p><p> </p><p>Only a quick glance to my right gave me the fact that I didn't know how to get Phred out of there, at this point in time. Where there was supposed to be a dialpad near the door, there was nothing. I'd have to find it somewhere else. Most likely on one of the upper floors.</p><p> </p><p>"So, Phred..."</p><p> </p><p>"Yep?"</p><p> </p><p>"This room looks familiar."</p><p> </p><p>"Familiar how? Does it look a lot like your jail room?"</p><p> </p><p>"A little, but what I really meant is, it looks like a school restroom."</p><p> </p><p>"Yep. That makes me feel so much better." Whoops.</p><p> </p><p>Speaking of how he felt, "How are you today?" I asked.</p><p> </p><p>"Not terrible. Could be better."</p><p> </p><p>"..."</p><p> </p><p>"..."</p><p> </p><p>"...Alrighty then. Have you decided on any potential careers?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'd like to do something for the world, but I don't think I'd be great with medicine."</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe you could be a psychiatrist." I said slyly.</p><p> </p><p>We shared an obnoxious fake chuckle together.</p><p> </p><p>"Seriously though." Phred said.</p><p> </p><p>"I've got nothing." I responded.</p><p> </p><p>I had no more questions for him. Well, I could ask about the door's code to see if he knew, but I'll get to that when I actually have a way to input the code. "I saw a kangaroo slay a dragon in the way here."</p><p> </p><p>Phred met my demands. "I saw a rainbow rhinoceros using butterflies to take a vacation to the sun." Oh yeah?</p><p> </p><p>"I saw a sentient daffodil that was allergic to itself, and it used its molten muscles to cook."</p><p> </p><p>"I saw SaturnMs ring up close, and it's really and everlasting at big spiral staircase that spits up start dust." Oh he was good. But I was better.</p><p> </p><p>"I saw a kumquat giving birth to a speeding ticket shaped like a constipated gopher."</p><p> </p><p>"Shoot..." Phred said, defeated. "I'm never going to win this game."</p><p> </p><p>I shrugged. "See you later dude, I gotta find Smiley and Zack."</p><p> </p><p>He nodded. "Later."</p><p> </p><p>I walked back to the elevator, pressed the button for the next floor. F1.</p><p> </p><p>It was very green. I took the first left, only to find myself in a jungle-ish area, facing an upright gorilla-like creature. A sign nearby indicated that this was in fact, the fabeled Bigtoe.</p><p> </p><p>He looked polite, so I greeted him politely. "Good day, sir."</p><p> </p><p>"Salutations, young gentleman. Of what subject shall we speak in this fine day?"</p><p> </p><p>"Are you fond of crumpets?"</p><p> </p><p>He looked forlorn. "Alas, crumpets are but a faint memory for this old hominid. They were treasures to behold when paired with the tea leaves of what once was my forest. It was the day the black-garbed men captured me that I sipped my very last spot of tea." Aw man, that sucks. "Unjust judgment can be a depressant like no other."</p><p> </p><p>I didn't quite know what to say to all that, so I just said, "'Kay. How do you do?"</p><p> </p><p>"My apologies, but perhaps you could specify the nature of your inquiry?"</p><p> </p><p>Oh. I guess I meant, "What is your mood at this particular moment?"</p><p> </p><p>"I feel lonely, as I generally do, which is a logical emotion because I am alone most of the time. I should say that I am less lonely with you here, but you literally blend in with the scenery." I looked down at my very green hoodie. That I do.</p><p> </p><p>"What are your emotions in the grand scheme of things?"</p><p> </p><p>"I am concerned about unlawful courtrooms and the government's capitalistic stance. The widening hole in the ozone layer frightens me, as well as the limited oil in the Earth's soil." I would be worried too, if I weren't just a kid.</p><p> </p><p>"Remind me never to ask about that again."</p><p> </p><p>"I'll be happy to oblige."</p><p> </p><p>"Are you responsible for the trimming of your big toenails?"</p><p> </p><p>"Strange though it may seem, my toenails do not grow." Woah, that was strange. "Me feet never feel any pressing discomfort with tennis shoes on."</p><p> </p><p>Hmm. I wanted to try something. "Get bent, monkey dude."</p><p> </p><p>"Psh, you ain't got no power over <em>me</em>, punk. I do what I <em>wanna</em> do!" Well that answers that question.</p><p> </p><p>"Someone of your intellect surely has a wondrous hobby."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm fascinated by fancy hats." Hey, didn't Messie have a sorta fancy hat? "It is my dream to wear a hat that godly proclaims, 'I am a fancy hat.'"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, fancy pants proclaim, 'Run fast, run fancy!'"</p><p> </p><p>"That seems intriguing, too, but I'd still much prefer a fancy hat."</p><p> </p><p>Welp, that was everything I could think of. I better get down to Messie's place and see if they dropped their hat. "Tally-ho, chimp chap."</p><p> </p><p>"I shall wish for your safety, good fellow."</p><p> </p><p>I hopped down the elevator, when to B2, entered Messie's enclosure, glad to see them gone. I picked up the top hat and left.</p><p> </p><p>"Does this hat fit your tastes?" I asked Bigtoe.</p><p> </p><p>He hemmed and hawed. "It is a nice hat, but only that; I find it not to be a fancy enough hat to wear."</p><p> </p><p>"The hat needs to be fancier to tickle your fancy. Got it." Speaking of tickling, feathers were worn in fancy hats, right? But where would I find some feather in this place?</p><p> </p><p>I went back to the F1 hallway, and turned another left. There was an even longer hallway, that lead to a giant hanger. It had Diz's ship in it! And a giant aircraft chute, ready to be flown through. Diz was the only one who could fly the ship, so I'd have to free my friends and him first. And I'd have to find him first. I had a hunch he was on B2, behind the mean guard door. Nothing I could do now.</p><p> </p><p>The next door had a bright sun on a sign. I could only guess that this was Smiley's room.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Phil!" Smiley's voice greeted me, as I walked through the door. It was Smiley! Wait.</p><p> </p><p>"Whoa. Uh, hi, Smiley." She did not have hair the last time I saw her. What?!</p><p> </p><p>"I'm guessing you want to ask about my hair."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, yes, seeing as you didn't have any hair just yesterday. So... why do you have hair?"</p><p> </p><p>She half-smiled. "It's not like there's much to do when you're stuck in a little prison cell." Speaking of, her prison cell was <em>nice</em>. "So I used the can of hair spray that's over there," she pointed near the sink, "to pass the time. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous about what people will think of me now that I have hair."</p><p> </p><p>Oh man. "I'm no fashion expert, but I say it looks nice."</p><p> </p><p>She gave me a bright smile. "Well, thanks!"</p><p> </p><p>"You're welcome. But more importantly can we still need to get you out of this cell place."</p><p> </p><p>"If you need anything from me, I guess I'll be here."</p><p> </p><p>I took a quick look around her room. I couldn't get over the fact how clean it was, and my eyes landed on the hair spray she had hues turned to earlier.</p><p> </p><p>A can with the ability to spray liquid that magically makes your hair grow quickly. I couldn't comprehend how people were able to invent and distribute whimsical goods like this. Although, I could figure out what I could use it for.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Smiley."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey."</p><p> </p><p>"Could I have your hair spray?"</p><p> </p><p>She blinked. "Are you planning on growing hair?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh,,. no, I like being bald. I just think the hair spray will help us escape. If you could hand it to me through the slot in the cell door, that'd be great."</p><p> </p><p>"Interesting." She picked it up and brought it to the door. "Okay, here you go."</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks." As it fell into my hands, I stole a glance at the dialpad. It was missing the number three. The square that wasn't there was the perfect size for a die. Which, I was about to get for helping Yeddy. It was funny how things worked out. "Before I go, how are you today, Smiley?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm grateful to be back on Earth."</p><p> </p><p>"So it doesn't bother you that you just got abducted by another space-age corporation?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, yeah," she shrugged. "but I prefer to have an optimistic mindset." I could understand that.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm more of a distant optimist, myself. I think the light at the end of the cave is guarded by snakes." With all that happens to me, it just makes sense.</p><p> </p><p>Smiley stared at me. "...That really doesn't sound even remotely positive."</p><p> </p><p>Eh, whataya gonna do. "Your prison cell looks a lot nicer than mine." And Phred's.</p><p> </p><p>"How so?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well, it's brighter, for one thing. And mind didn't have a fancy mirror or a bathroom stall."</p><p> </p><p>"Stalls are pretty typical in girls' restrooms." What?!</p><p> </p><p>"Wait, really? ...I've been missing out." I had a snowman to help. "Let's talk more another time."</p><p> </p><p>"Alright," she waved. "see you later."</p><p> </p><p>B1 was the floor with Yeddy, I remembered, so I went to greet him.</p><p> </p><p>I was about to present him with the hairspray, but as soon as he saw it he gasped, took it from my hands, spritzed it on himself (causing him to grow an entire body's worth of hair), ran behind the ice and threw out a bunch of junk, then stuffed the die into my hand. All before I could react. I shook my head and grinned, once I realized what happened.</p><p> </p><p>"Are you enjoying having hair?" I asked him.</p><p> </p><p>"Hair is the single greatest thing that's ever happened to the universe." I could beg to differ, but I let him have his moment.</p><p> </p><p>"I'll take that as a yes."</p><p> </p><p>Now, back to Smiley on F1. I fixed the dialpad, and asked Smiley if she knew what the code to her door was.</p><p> </p><p>"51333." She responded.</p><p> </p><p>"Nice. How do you know that?" I said, as I put the die into the proper place. Right over where the number three would be located.</p><p> </p><p>"The agent who locked me in here mumbled the code out loud to himself as he dialed it in." Makes sense.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, I'll see what I can do." Right before I inputted the code, I looked above the doorway. Huh.</p><p> </p><p>"Smiley, I never knew your last name was Sundae."</p><p> </p><p>"Yep," she said gravely. "I've boycotted eating sundaes to avoid cannibalism."</p><p> </p><p>I gave her a shocked face.</p><p> </p><p>She snorted. "That was a joke, by the way." Pft. I knew that. I used the dialpad, and opened the door.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks!" Smiley said once we were face-to-face. "What's next?"</p><p> </p><p>Well, that guard door was pretty adamant about not wanted to see my friends, so... "I think it would be a good idea to get everyone to gather at the lowest point of this building."</p><p> </p><p>"Gotcha. I'll be right down." I followed her to the elevator, and waited on her to make her trip. Then, I skipped past my floor (there was nothing else I could do there, that I knew of), and went to F3.</p><p> </p><p>It was red. The first door on my left led me to a cage in a padded room with wide windows. There was a sign that said 'Flying Pig,' and there was a pig with wings sitting on a swing. Besides the metal bars, there was a hardwood board in between us.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, pig," I greeted.</p><p> </p><p>The pig must've been zoning out, because it popped up at my voice. "Oh, hello."</p><p> </p><p>"What's shakin', bacon?"</p><p> </p><p>"Right now I'm as free as a bird in a bird cage." Deja vu.</p><p> </p><p>"Pig, I think you and I would probably make really good friends. How were you captured?"</p><p> </p><p>"I was half-asleep sitting just outside this building, and some guy carried me inside. Then he locked me up here and made me eat like a pig."</p><p> </p><p>I had to admit it, but, "That's a pretty pathetic way to be captured. How exactly do you 'eat like a pig'?"</p><p> </p><p>"I know my etiquette, but the guy didn't offer me silverware, or even a napkin." Oh, yikes. "I had to use me feet. Sure, it was fun, but not exactly clean."</p><p> </p><p>"Where did you used to live?"</p><p> </p><p>"There's a sky in the could that never moves. Atop that inactive cloud is the majestic kingdom of Porktop, home to all of the world's flying pigs," he said, wistfully.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh. So that's where you live."</p><p> </p><p>"Actually no," the pig said. "I live in a house next to it. I've been here for about two hours. I'd like to make sure I didn't leave the stove on..."</p><p> </p><p>Oh. "Don't you think you could squeeze through those bars?" They looked sorta large enough. Maybe.</p><p> </p><p>"I've tried."</p><p> </p><p>"And?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm too fat."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh."</p><p> </p><p>Let's see, the last time I was presented with a wooden board, I used lava to melt it. The only source of heat I could think of at the time was Zack. Once I freed him, he could help me get the pig out of here. I waved goodbye to the pig.</p><p> </p><p>"Communicate with you later."</p><p> </p><p>Just as I left the room and went through the next door, I remembered that I needed feathers to make the top hat I had fancy enough for Bigtoe. That was a strange sentence. I'll get the feathers later.</p><p> </p><p>The next room was a lounge. <em>A fine lounge</em>, if I were to believe the bright light-up sign above the window. There was a poster, a useless time zone clock, chairs, cereal and silverware, comfy looking chairs, a Chloro-Fill dispenser, and a recycling can. Hey, wait a second. I took a peek down the recycling can, and I saw the tail end of Goat-Man. So this is where those empty cans and cereal boxes cans from. Makes sense. If I could get that Chloro-Fill form the dispenser to the can, I could fill Goat-Man's room with the grassy liquid. That'd certainly make him happy. Good thing I saved that hose from Messie's enclosure with me.</p><p> </p><p>I linked up one end of the hose to the Chloro-Fill dispenser, and the other end into the 'recycling' tube. I pushed the lever gently, and the grassy drink came gushing out into the goat's enclosure. One look down the tube was all I needed to confirm that the grass was as green as every, Goat-Man was happily eating, and that there were daisies that grew all over the place. I was glad I could help.</p><p> </p><p>Now to go get Zack, If the pattern of the floors was any indication. His room's sign was detailed with fire, which was very fitting.</p><p> </p><p>I entreated to see him tied up horizontally on a pole on the ceiling. There was nothing on the floor except a suspicious pile of monkey dolls. Judging from the emptiness of the room besides the moniker, I had a hunch that they ate everything. Probably.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi, Zack."</p><p> </p><p>"Myeh," he said in return.</p><p> </p><p>"Why are you strapped to a shower curtain handle?"</p><p> </p><p>"They guys who put me in here decided I was literally too hot for them to handle." That made sense. "Basically, I've been rendered helpless for safety reasons."</p><p> </p><p>"Things must really be starting to heat up."</p><p> </p><p>He squinted his eyes at me in disdain. "...Would you like any third degree burns? Please, take mine."</p><p> </p><p>Haha. "That sounds great, but I'm not hungry. How are you today?"</p><p> </p><p>He tried to shrug, which only led to his rope swaying a bit. "I'm a little tied up at the moment. Not a whole lot I can do."</p><p> </p><p>I think the answer was obvious. "You have to burn the rope."</p><p> </p><p>"I've tried that. The flames in my head just don't reach the rope."</p><p> </p><p>"Keep trying," I encouraged. "You're on fire!"</p><p> </p><p>"Joy," he said, very sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>His door's dialpad seemed intact, so I figured I'd ask him the code. "Do you know what the code for your cell is?"</p><p> </p><p>"The code has five digits." Okay. "The digits are 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, but not necessarily in that order." What. "The first digit plus the second digit is equal to the third digit." Are you kidding me. "The second digit is two times the first digit. The second digit is half the fourth digit." I swear to god, Zack. "And the fourth digit is the sum of the first and fourth digits."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm not enjoying this game, Zack," I said, only slightly frustrated. Well, while I was figuring that out, "What are some fun facts about you that I don't already know?"</p><p> </p><p>"Interesting question..." Zack started. "My favorite color is red, I never tie my shoes, I hate playing dodgeball, pigeons freak me out, and I'm allergic to daisies." Daisies, huh?</p><p> </p><p>"Just how allergic? Do you shake up? Throw up? Perk up? Swell up? Break up?</p><p> </p><p>"I just sneeze." Oh. "That probably seems anticlimactic, but it's apparently pretty bad now." How so? "Before I got tied to the ceiling, I sneezed once, and my whole body burst into flames." Oh wow.</p><p> </p><p>"Spontaneous combustion from sneezing. The possibilities with that are endless." I couldn't figure out the code, so I decided to input the first thing I could think of. 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, in that order. The door slid open.</p><p> </p><p>"Yep," Zack said. "The videos just a simple rising set of consecutive numbers."</p><p> </p><p>He must've been very bored. "...Out of curiosity, how could you have known what the code was?"</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, it was written in this side of the door." Huh. Picture that. Well, since I saw daises in Goat-Man's enclosure, and Zack is allergic to daisies, and they make him spontaneously combust, I figure I can go to F2 and get a daisy real easy-like.</p><p> </p><p>"Later, Zack," I waved.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Goat Guy," I said when I entered his room. I was greeted with very loud chewing.</p><p> </p><p>"OM NOM NOM DELICIOUS GREEN GRASS OH YES." Welp, I was glad he was glad.</p><p> </p><p>"Once I grab one of these flowers, I'm gonna leave you alone—"</p><p> </p><p>"PUT ONE FOOT ON THIS GREEN GRASS, AND YOU'LL FEEL THE WRATH OF A THOUSAND RAMS."</p><p> </p><p>Ok, nevermind, then. I climbed down the layer, and reached four to pick the daisy closest to me, without setting foot on the 'delicious green grass.'</p><p> </p><p>I made my way back to Zack to free him from his monkey cage.</p><p> </p><p>I held the daisy up to his face, and... and... anddddd... he sneezed and burst into flames. The fire quickly put itself out, and then Zack was on the floor. He also burnt the daisy to a crisp.</p><p> </p><p>He stood up. "I have mixed feelings about that escape."</p><p> </p><p>"You're welcome." I was going to tell him to meet up with Smiley, but I needed him for a second. "Oh, hey—would you mind following me for a while?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well I <em>would</em> mind. But, you're smart, so I'm sure there's a significant purpose to having me follow you."</p><p> </p><p>"Great. Glad you agree." One more thing. "...But, I'm afraid you can't enter any rooms with smoke detectors."</p><p> </p><p>"I'll be content as long as I get to burn something."</p><p> </p><p>I guess turned him to follow me, and I took him to the pig's room. He blinked when he saw the pig.</p><p> </p><p>"Can you burn this wood thing?" I gestured to him and then the wood panel. He tilted his head up to it, and the wood melted away.</p><p> </p><p>The pig was wide-eyed, and quicker than a bullet, flew up and away. Before we knew it, the pig was out the large windows and free, going my to their home near the Porktop Kingdom.</p><p> </p><p>I stepped in the cage to collect the feathers that fell of when the pig escaped, and put them on the top hat I had with me. I held it up to Zack.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, do you think this is fancy enough?" He shrugged. I started walking towards the elevator, and he followed behind me. I pressed F1, and told Zack to go ahead and go to B2, since I needed to get Phred. He gave me a thumbs up and left me alone.</p><p> </p><p>I presented the feather hat to Bigtoe. He placed it on his head and nodded. He then went behind a bush and picked up a dialpad. It was exactly what I needed to free Phred!</p><p> </p><p>"Thank you for the lovely hat," he said, after he gave the dialpad to me. "I will be reminded of your kind gesture every time I vigorously do the tango."</p><p> </p><p>Ok then. "This conversation just ended."</p><p> </p><p>Now to free Phred. I went to floor B1, and walked over to his room.</p><p> </p><p>"So, Phred..." I greeted.</p><p> </p><p>"Yep?" He said.</p><p> </p><p>"Do you know what the code for your door's dialpad is?"</p><p> </p><p>"Snoz." Huh?</p><p> </p><p>"...What?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm pretty sure the password is Snoz."</p><p> </p><p>I looked at the dialpad in my hand, then back to him, confused. "But it can't be Snoz. It's only numbers."</p><p> </p><p>"Really? I guess this paper I found was useless." He pulled a small slip of paper out of his pocket. "I'm not joking, though." He walked over to the door. "Here, maybe it means something to you." It fell through the slot in the door and I picked it up.</p><p> </p><p>At first glance, it did in fact say Snoz. But after years of looking at Phred's lazy handwriting, I could tell that it actually says the numbers 51702. I put the dialpad in its proper place, and inputted those numbers. Now, Phred was free.</p><p> </p><p>"Cool," he said, once he exited the cell. "Now what?"</p><p> </p><p>"Smiley and Zack are waiting for us on the bottom floor of this building."</p><p> </p><p>"Awesome. So, how to we get there?"</p><p> </p><p>I was going down with him, so I didn't really need to say how to get down, but it would be funnier if I did tell him. "Just go out the door and there will be an elevator in plain sight."</p><p> </p><p>"Down I go, then. I'll tell you if I can't find it."</p><p> </p><p>We walked to the elevator together and he pushed the bottom-mist button. We came across Smiley and Zack, and Phred did a small double-take at Smiley's new hair. Honestly, I did the same thing. I turned to Phred.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm guessing you found the elevator."</p><p> </p><p>"Nope," he popped the puh sound. "Sure didn't."</p><p> </p><p>I snorted. "Figures." I guestired everyone to follow me into the guard door's hallway. "Hey Smiley," I said to break the silence. "Where'd you learn to smile so much?"</p><p> </p><p>"I think I was in the library." Huh.</p><p> </p><p>"Statement does not compute," I said. We reached the guard door, and I laid the bait.</p><p> </p><p>"My friends seem to all have accidentally stumbled out of their heavily-secured confinement cells. We were hoping to have a picnic in the room behind you. Care to let us in?"</p><p> </p><p>"Wait—" it's metallic voice screeched. "all of you escaped? SRSLY?" It began to spit out some nonsense.</p><p> </p><p>"ERROR%#!001 THAT IS SOMETHING I CANNOT COMPREHEND</p><p>ERROR%#!002 I WISH YOU ALL A HAPOY NEW YEAR</p><p>ERROR%#!003 00010011011100011000001100010010011111</p><p>ERROR%#!004 run&gt; psychotic_frenzy.exe"</p><p> </p><p>Wait, what was that last one?</p><p> </p><p>"<strong>BeRzErKeR</strong>!" The door started gnashing it's metal teeth up and down continuously.</p><p> </p><p>"This is exciting," Smiley said, helpfully. I didn't think I possessed the agility necessary to dive through those chomping teeth, so I decided to go upstairs to that screen room to turn off the guard door's power. I told everyone else to stay put.</p><p> </p><p>I soon arrived at the screen room on floor B1. I to time my button press juuuust right so the door would be stuck open.</p><p> </p><p>Easy-peasy. Let's see what the door was really guarding. I entered the doorway, only to see Diz held up behind a laser barrier, with a device strapped to his head. There were a bunch of screens around him about the Vizion project, some labeled 'MIND-READING ANALYSIS.' Call it a longshot, but I thought the machine might've been reading Diz's mind. What was really strange was that the project itself, Vizion, was dead.</p><p> </p><p>Vizion was a scheme concocted by the payouts alien dictator, Viz. he started it to essentially destroy the whole universe. I mean, planet Earth would've been destroyed had I not found a way to stop the maniac. Viz got a taste of his own poison, and supposedly, the project died with him. I wondered if the researchers of Zone 5.1 realized this. Hm. No matter. I came there to free Diz. And then the whole journey through injustice would've all been just a pleasant memory.</p><p> </p><p>There was a slot for a small, bizarrely shaped object that looked familiar. I searched around in my pockets and found the creature communicator and a keycard. I slid the creature communicator into the slot and two contraptions on either side of Diz opened up. I turned to the right first.</p><p> </p><p>There were three math problems; 7-0, 8-2, and 6-6. The green grid nearby clearly needed the answers to the numbers inputted there, do I put in a 7, a 6, and then a 0. Every other laser turned blue, and the contraption above the finished puzzle opened, so I went up to it.</p><p> </p><p>It was one of those tile puzzles (but it was shaped weirdly) that when you pressed a tile, some around it would light up and some wouldn't, so I clicked around in a pattern to get the whole thing over with quickly. Some of the lasers that were blocking my way to Diz disappeared. I walked to the bottom left puzzle.</p><p> </p><p>There was a small grid filled with triangles that faced certain ways and a few squares. The bottom grid was completely clear, so I copied the smaller grid's patterns onto the bigger one. The remaining lasers turned blue, and I reacted up to the last puzzle.</p><p> </p><p>Again, it was another tile thing, so I pressed the circles in a pattern and the lasers disappeared.</p><p> </p><p>Diz didn't indicate that he had seen me enter, or when the lasers disappeared, so I think he was under a trance. I hopped up to take the helmet with wires off of his head, and after a second, he blinked and smiled at me. After I released his arms and legs, we ducked out of the room, seeing the waiting faces of my friends.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Looks like everyone is here and accounted for.</em>" Diz pulled out the remote to the ship. "<em>And everything at that... I still have the remote to the ship.</em>" He swiveled his head to look at me. "<em>Now, marvelous hero... Lead the way—our freedom awaits us!</em>"</p><p> </p><p>My pleasure. I walked my friends to the elevator, then pressed the floor that Smiley was originally trapped on—and where the hanger the Vizion ship was in.</p><p> </p><p>We had only just entered the room and started towards the ship when all hell broke loose. Red lights flashed and alarms blared. The large aircraft chute started closely slowly, and we all started to run to the ship in desperation. Diz, with his long legs, was way faster then the rest of us.</p><p> </p><p>"Diz!" I shouted. "Wait up!"</p><p> </p><p>"<em>I'm sorry but there is no time!</em>" he panted. "<em>You will have to find another exit!</em>"</p><p> </p><p>I screeched to a halt and held out a hand to stop my friends from running anymore as Diz closed the distance to his ship, faster than any of us kids had any hope of getting there. By the time we all stopped running, the ship was up in the air. It barely scrapped by the closing chute and we all looked on in horror.</p><p> </p><p>My brain, however, did not stop running. Different exit, different exit. Wait. The manhole. The floor we were just on before this. If I could get everyone there before we got caught, we could escape through the sewers.</p><p> </p><p>"...This way!" I yelled at my friends. I somehow knew that we would need to go there.</p><p> </p><p>Those anxiety-riddled few seconds of waiting while the elevator descended were some of the worst seconds in my life.</p><p> </p><p>We quickly climbed down the ladder into the rest of the sewers, careful to make as little noise as possible. We couldn't let the Zone 5.1 security people catch us, or there would be dire consequences.</p><p> </p><p>It was dark, especially after Phred closed the manhole cover. The ladder down was illuminated by Zack's constant head flame.</p><p> </p><p>I reached the bottom, and I prepared to converse with my friends a plan to properly escape, but to our horror, the manhole cover slid open and the agents peered over.</p><p> </p><p>I made eye contact with one of them, and stuttered out a "R-RUN!"</p><p> </p><p>The guard yelled to his comrades, "They're down here! Come on!" And we ran for our lives.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven (RT2)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<span class="u"><em>'Completely useless.'</em></span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>Isn't that how my master worded it?</em>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>Oh they'll see.</em>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"><em>They'll </em>all<em> see how much worth I have."</em></span>
</p><p>___________________________</p><p>
  <strong>*IN THE SEWERS*</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I ran, looking behind me only briefly to see the agents coming down the ladder and my friends running behind me. The guards reached the bottom, and they fired laser bullets after us, fortunately missing, but still scaring us none-the-less.</p><p> </p><p>Smiley was holding her arms and wincing every time a shot rang out, Zack was running with his arms up and with a neutral expression on his face, but someone would be able to tell that he was scared as well. Phred was running as fast as he could, faster than his laziness had ever gotten him. He frighteningly looked at ever single bullet that went by, and I just ran, looking for a way to escape, just like I always did.</p><p> </p><p>I reached a door, and ushered my friends inside. I locked it, and the agents tried to laser a hole through the door, to no avail. I sighed in relief and quickly turned around, hoping the door would hold long enough for us to get out of this place.</p><p> </p><p>I was facing some kind of portal frame, with some monitors on the sides. To my left was a way to turn on the power.</p><p> </p><p>The door seemed like it would hold for the time being, so I took a breath.</p><p> </p><p>"Phred? Smiley? Zack?" As I said their names, they all turned to me, expectantly. "Any ideas?"</p><p> </p><p>Phred spoke up first. "Maybe if we could just find a sleigh and some lemurs.."</p><p> </p><p>I cut him off. "So, no." I deadpanned.  "Smiley?" I said hopefully. "You're an education fanatic. Can you MacGyver a way out of here?"</p><p> </p><p>"Erm, sorry," Smiley said, not smiling. "I love school, but you've always had better grades than me."</p><p> </p><p>"WHAT?!" I exclaimed. Seriously? I had better grades than Smiley, the eager scholar herself? Wait, shut up brain, we can think about that later when we're not in immediate danger.</p><p> </p><p>I turned to Zack, about to ask him for any hopeful pointers, but he shrugged and dismissed me. "Thinking up an escape plan is hurting my head."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm pretty sure it's the fire, Zach." I said distantly.</p><p> </p><p>"Man sounds we've got <em>two</em> hotheads in this room right now," Zack snarked. We didn't have time for this.</p><p> </p><p>I set to work right away, looking around the room for any clues on the ground or walls or ceiling before I moved onto the electronics. There was a slip of paper with a word looking dog drawing on it that said 'woof' with strange handwriting. Although... I turned the page, and lo and behold, the message read out 4003. Most likely a passcode for one of these computers in here.</p><p> </p><p>I turned to the monitor near me and typed in the passcode. It's a good thing Zone 5.1’s security kinda bites, cause I easily had access to the... Teleportation Coordinates! Yes! And the screen even had our Riddle School Elementary coordinates already written down?! We emerge saves! I only had to get the actual teleporter working, and I assumed that the power box and circuit box to the left of us would be the answer.</p><p> </p><p>The power box needed a keycard, and thankfully for our lives, I still had one from when I broke everyone out of the facility above us.</p><p> </p><p>I voiced my complaints. "This is the second time in a row I've conveniently had a machine-powering doodad on hand."</p><p> </p><p>The circuit box was now open, and it had strange glowing lines that crisscrossed all over the place. The buttons on the top and bottom moved one column of the lines at a time, so I assumed that I needed to create a path from one end to the other. Easy enough.</p><p> </p><p>The teleporter, now glowing around the edges, was almost ready for us. All I had to do was input the coordinates to our school, and we were home free, baring any agents following us through. I inputted the proper longitude and latitudes, and activated the portal.</p><p> </p><p>A kaleidoscope of colors greeted up, and finally, it was time to go home. Or at least, to a familiar place. I led the char he, and jumped in first, followed by Phred, Smiley, and Zack, who grabbed a newspaper from. Somewhere.</p><p> </p><p>With little-to-no fanfare, we simply popped back into our elementary seats. We all looked around the room, and I think we were surprised we were back, after so many years...</p><p> </p><p>"So," I grimaced. "Who's ready time repeat an entire decade of school?"</p><p> </p><p>Smiley playfully turned to me with her face stretched it happily. "I was reborn ready!" she replied.</p><p> </p><p>Of course she is. "There goes my rhetorical question."</p><p> </p><p>Ms. Cophey (Holy Moly, Ms. Cophey! I haven't seen her in forever!) walked into the classroom, and as her baggy eyes drifted over her young students, she asked us a kinda startling question.</p><p> </p><p>"Class, why have you been absent for the past several days?" Several days, huh? It did not feel that short, that's for sure. I decided to answer her truthfully, because there really was no point in lying. She wouldn't believe us either way, I know that for sure.</p><p> </p><p>"We were abducted by aliens." I said.</p><p> </p><p>Zach took the next line, "Then we got kidnapped by secret agents."</p><p> </p><p>Then Smiley. "We has to use a teleporter to get back to class."</p><p> </p><p>Ms. Cophey was writing down something in a book. "Yeah yeah," she said, amused. "I've heard those before." (She has?) "So what <em>really</em> happened?"</p><p> </p><p>We all blinked.</p><p> </p><p>Zack voiced our dismayed thoughts. "Why couldn't we have been in a more convincing-sounding double abduction?"</p><p> </p><p>Ms. Cophey went on with her lesson. "Well, I've made sure you have time to do your make-up work." Oh, how nice. I was ready, you know. Ready to be done with college and with school. "I've decided I'm not going to have a quiz this week."</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">Actually,</span>" Oh no. "<span class="u">I believe you are...</span>" I knew that voice.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone turned the doorway, and there he was.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">I am Quiz,</span>" the bright blue, four-armed alien smirked. "<span class="u">The new face of Vizion.</span>" Yeah I definitely knew his voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, I remember, you were the one with the <strike>blue</strike> underlined text in that one cutscene."</p><p> </p><p>He turned to me when I spoke. "<span class="u">Hey, Egghead!</span>" He insulted, as if I hadn't heard that one before. "<span class="u">Thanks for rubbing out my boss. Now I've inherited his throne</span>!" He raised his arms in triumph, like he were prepping for a maniacal laugh. "<span class="u">I am become Quiz, judge of all worlds— and headmaster of this silly building!</span>"</p><p> </p><p>Did he just say 'I am become'? Whatever. "I guess stopping cliché supervillains is my life now." I snarked.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">I’d like to see you try that, Egghead. I won't be the pushover that Viz was.</span>" He and his two bodyguards/lackeys(?) left with a dismissive shuffle. "<span class="u">Ta-ta, worms.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>As we all stared in disbelief as the fleeing alien, Zack took it upon himself to ask the important question.</p><p> </p><p>"Do we still have to do that make-up work, Ms. Cophey?"</p><p> </p><p>Right. Whatever. Welp, time for me to make my escape. I stood up from my chair, ready to go confront the strange blue alien that had threatened us. Something wasn't adding up about him.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, Quiz may have thought about us escaping, because as soon as I stood up, a laser grid appeared over my seat and scanned it, searching for a pale shape upon a green mass. It found nothing, so a gun popped out from the ceiling and pointed itself right at me. It was clear I had to set up a decoy to trick the system into believing I was still sitting down. Obvious, right?</p><p> </p><p>But first, ask around for intel. "So, Ms. Cophey, what do you think about all this?"</p><p> </p><p>She shrugged and responded, "I could really go for a cup of coffee." Of course she could.</p><p> </p><p>"Or six-dozen, knowing you," I responded. Jeez, a hyper, coffee-fueled Ms. Cophey + her holding that stick? She'd swing it around like an airplane propellor. Could slice through metal, that could.</p><p> </p><p>"How're you holding up, Smiley?" I turned to her.</p><p> </p><p>She was frowning. "I haven't found a reason to smile about this situation yet."</p><p> </p><p>I didn't like it when she frowned. "I'm glad we're both doing fantastic."</p><p> </p><p>I turned to Zack, awaiting something, anything he could give me, information or otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at me. "I'd try burning my way out of this building, but that's too much property damage to pay for." Yeah, I'd believe that.</p><p> </p><p>Alright. Next person.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Phred, is there anything around your desk that seems useful?"</p><p> </p><p>"There's a green backpack on the floor here." Yes! "I'm sure nobody's using it."</p><p> </p><p>Exactly what I needed. "I hereby confiscate this backpack, for science." Sweet.</p><p> </p><p>After I took the backpack from Phred, he said, "I think I've done all I can do to help, so I'm just gonna blankly stare now." Yeah, you do that, guess.</p><p> </p><p>Now I just needed something that was vaguely shaped like my head. The trash can was nearby, so I'll check in their next.</p><p> </p><p>It was tricky to reach, but scouring the trash can yielded a light tan paper bag. Score! I concocted my Frankenstein's monster of parts into a vague representation of what I looked like. I put it on my chair, and stood up. Hopefully this'll work?</p><p> </p><p>Yep! The scanner was fooled and the guns were not pulled on me. Although, it's less than flattering to know I closely resemble a dirty paper bag.</p><p> </p><p>Welp, time to leave this room and stop an evil alien from taking over and/or destroying all I hold dear. Looking down the hallway was an unfortunate sight. There, right where the hall monitor Richy would've been, was a high-tech laser grid, ready to slice and dice my poor tiny body. There was a sign nearby, that read,</p><p> </p><p>"Any human DNA detected passing through the red lasers will be shot," I read. Hm. This seemed a bit tough. Although, that box on the wall that has a lightning bolt on it clearly is the power box for the laser grid. So, obviously, if some human DNA got through the lasers and maybe landed on that box, the gun would shoot it, and destroy itself! Makes sense. So then I just needed something small enough for me to throw with accuracy, sticky enough to stay on the box without falling, and with enough human DNA to alert the gun.</p><p> </p><p>Just like I did all those years ago, I tried every locker to see if there was anything useful inside. There was a math book inside the one closest to the water fountain, so I decided to take it with me. Speaking of lockers, that poster I made so many years ago didn't quite make sense. Although I did make it when I was super young, there were actually more than seven students that went to this school. I guess I only ever just saw seven.</p><p> </p><p>I'll head to Mr. Kahm's class first. It was the first class I ever escaped from, I think it deserved a visit.</p><p> </p><p>There were more worrying guns on Th e ceiling, and Richy, the hall-monitor, who was sitting at one of the desks.</p><p> </p><p>"Richy!" I greeted. "It feels like I haven't seen you in forever!"</p><p> </p><p>"Uh... hi?" He looked confused. "Have we met?"</p><p> </p><p>Oh. Right. All those years we knew each other weren't real. It was still hard to get use to the fact that I'm now mentally an adult, but physically? I'm still just a kid.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't remember stopping me in the hallway before I showed you my hall pass?" That was the first and last real meeting we've ever had.</p><p> </p><p>"Of course not!" Ouch. "Who's remember something as small as that?" Double ouch. Well, he is just a kid.</p><p> </p><p>"Well, in that case, let's start over. Hi, nice to meet you. My name's Phil Eggtree."</p><p> </p><p>"That's probably the dumbest name I've ever heard."</p><p> </p><p>Great. "We're off to a good start." Now for the question time. "How's life?" I paused. "...besides being unable to leave your desk without getting shot."</p><p> </p><p>He shrugged. "My teachers didn't like me ditching my post as a hall monitor, so now I'm in a special class. I don't even have a smart teacher. I'm getting out of this school as soon as I can."</p><p> </p><p>Whoa. Deja-vu. "Richy, you've got a lot to learn." Apparently not ditching school for a start. Took me several years to learn that lesson.</p><p> </p><p>Hmm... next question. "Richy, do you collect buttons, perchance?" He did when we were in high school, maybe that alien-induced dream could've told the future-?</p><p> </p><p>"What kind of dork collect buttons?" Ah, darn. "And what kind of dork says 'perchance'?"</p><p> </p><p>Oof, harsh. "Call it a hunch, but I bet you'll change your mind by the time we're in high school." If we manage to even GET to high school at this point.</p><p> </p><p>Alright, last question. "This school is under control of an alien bent on world domination. Any ideas?" I said, sorta hopefully, but holding out on disappointment.</p><p> </p><p>"Well," Richy answered. "I can't get out of here if there's an evil mastermind running the building, so..."</p><p> </p><p>I had to disagree. "Eh, 'mastermind' is giving him too much credit."</p><p> </p><p>"Hm," Richy patted his pockets down in search for anything. "All I've got us some Elmo's Glue."</p><p> </p><p>I don't quite see how that could help me just yet, but it's better to be safe than sorry. "I'll take it!"</p><p> </p><p>"Woah, dude," Richy held up the glue. "I'm not just gonna give you the only thing I remembered to bring to school." Alright that was understandable. "One dollar. Then I'll trust you."</p><p> </p><p>"Ah money, the root of all inconveniences." I say, a lot of my past school escapes did revolve around money. Where would I find a dollar here? Wait... didn't I throw a dollar at Chubb instead of giving him candy or something? I called him a fatty. How unoriginal. He'd definitely have no use for a dollar, hopefully.</p><p> </p><p>Speaking of something I needed, there was a used thing of gum stuck to the unoccupied desk. I needed to grab that, but I didn't quite want Richy to see me grab it. That would be gross. I decided to distract him.</p><p> </p><p>"Bread crumbs and beaver spit," I said confidently.</p><p> </p><p>As he shook his head in disbelief I grabbed the gum from the desk. Gross, but necessary. "You're so random, man." I'll take that as a complement.</p><p> </p><p>Welp, that's all I needed from this room. "Goo'bye." I left off.</p><p> </p><p>"Um, see ya." Richy awkwardly waved.</p><p> </p><p>Time to fool this dangerous and deadly laser grid. "Gun, meet gum."</p><p> </p><p>I hope this works and doesn't blow up on me, I thought as I threw the gum perfectly across one of the red lines and onto the electric box.</p><p> </p><p>And with that, the fuse went boom, the gun let out a fume, and there was no more impending laser doom. Finally, I could get to Chubb, who of course, as always, was sitting in front of the door to the office. Time to set something right.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey Chubb?"</p><p> </p><p>"Hmmmm?" He grumbled.</p><p> </p><p>"I like fat jokes, but I'm sorry for calling you a fatty. That was out of line."</p><p> </p><p>He thought for a second. "...Oh. Yeah, you should be sorry for that one." He smiled. "It wasn't <em>witty</em>! You can come up with better material than <em>that</em>, Bald Eagle."</p><p> </p><p>I absolutely could. "I like the way you think, Earthquake generator."</p><p> </p><p>"Haha," he grinned. "Now THAT'S better!"</p><p> </p><p>Alright, now onto the questions. "So, anything new with you?"</p><p> </p><p>He half-shrugged. "I don't mind being obese, except for the part where it's really unhealthy. So I'm kinda on the fence about whether I should stay like this or lose some weight."</p><p> </p><p>"Just don't break the fence while you're sitting on it!" I joked. We both let out a loud and obnoxious laugh at that. "No but seriously," I sobered up. "You'd probably feel better if you lost a few pounds."</p><p> </p><p>Next topic. "Could you maybe scooch over a bit?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'd like to," Chubb said, "but I can't move. I'm only here cause some aliens set me in front of the door." Of course they would do that. "Usually I can't get myself to move without a sugary energy boost, like a cookie."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh yeah—" I remembered. "I'm also sorry I misled you into thinking the cookie machine wasn't broken."</p><p> </p><p>"We all make mistakes," Chubb said, wisely. "I don't have a use for this dollar, so you can have it back now."</p><p> </p><p>Nice. "If I find any cookies laying around, I'll let you know."  Before I go off and save the world, "Did you you hear that the scho has been overtaken by a fat blue alien creature?"</p><p> </p><p>"That clod!" Chubb said aggressively. "There's only room for one fat guy around here, and that's me."</p><p> </p><p>I think that's enough information for now. "See you 'round."</p><p> </p><p>"Ha, you see me <em>very</em> round!"</p><p> </p><p>I went back all the way to Mr. Kahm's class to exchange the dollar for Richy's glue, which I still couldn't think of a use for yet.</p><p> </p><p>"I have a dollar that says I can stop this alien takeover, with your help."</p><p> </p><p>"Alright," the boy complied. "I'll trade you my glue stick. Take care of it."</p><p> </p><p>"No worries, this glue stick and I will stick together like glue," I playfully said, just to annoy him.</p><p> </p><p>He cringed. "...Please never say that even again."</p><p> </p><p>And thus continues the tradition of me going through each classroom for items in order to progress my storyline. There was nothing left in Mr. Kahm's class for the insane, and I had no reason to go back into Ms. Cophey's room yet (besides saying hello to my friends), so I walked over to the janitor's closet.</p><p> </p><p>For some reason, I've always had these feelings when it comes to certain objects. Usually it was a '<em>no, that wouldn't help me</em>' or a '<em>I need this in order to do something very specific.</em>' I never really knew where these thoughts and feelings came from, but anyway I had a gut instinct to take the janitor's bucket because I needed it for something. Just like the glue, I didn't know what yet.</p><p> </p><p>The next two rooms were the bathrooms. I grabbed the soap from the men's, and stood in front of the door to the women's bathroom. Maybe it was time. After all these years, maybe it was time to finally go into a girl's restroom and discover what lies behind the intimidating doors. I mean, the fate of the world was at stake.</p><p> </p><p>I wasn't looking forward to this. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. I opened the door, and instead of being faced with a sink and a few stalls, there was... a dirt tunnel?</p><p> </p><p>"What the <em>flozwad</em>?" I half-heartily cursed. This didn't make any sense. Were all girls' bathrooms like this? There was a small cavern with a fluorescent light on the ceiling, and an overturned gumball machine. At least I can use a gumball to entice Chubb to get out of the way.</p><p> </p><p>The lid of the gumball machine was jammed shut, and I realized I could grease it up with that soap I got from the other bathroom. The balls of sugar slipped out nicely with the lubricant, so I picked one up in order to deliver it to Chubb.</p><p> </p><p>There was still the cafeteria to visit, so if I needed anything else I'd probably find it in there. I held up the gumball to Chubb, and after I got his attention, tossed it in his mouth. After that boost of sugar, he ran off faster than I had ever seen anyone run before.</p><p> </p><p>Stepping into the office was a very strange experience. I had only really been there once, and it was very brief. The room looked like a cardboard box, and there was a very tall alien with a giant head, one foot, one arm with a weird sucker hand, an intimidating underbite (no teeth showing), and a giant, unblinking eye.</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly, I wasn't that frightened. It was, after all, just another obstacle I had to out-wit.</p><p> </p><p>"Hello," I greeted them calmly.</p><p> </p><p>"Howdy-do," they replied back.</p><p> </p><p>"What's your name?"</p><p> </p><p>"I'm uh, Nit Wit." Huh. Strange name. "My mom n' pop thought it sounded intelligent." They were definitely wrong about that.</p><p> </p><p>"Hate to tell you, but you're in the way of the principal's office."</p><p> </p><p>"'Course I'm in the way, dummy. The headmaster's right through this door."</p><p> </p><p>"You mean Quiz?"</p><p> </p><p>They scoffed. "Obviously I mean Quiz—" they caught themself. "Uh... <em>no</em>."</p><p> </p><p>"I need to speak to your master."</p><p> </p><p>"He told me you didn't want to speak with him, and I take his word over yours."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh. Right. Yeah, that's fair. Of <em>course</em>."</p><p> </p><p>Was there something I could do here to get them to leave? Alright, so this alien doesn't blink, and they have  some eye drops to the side they use a lot. If I replace the eye drops with let's say... this soap I have with me, then I can drive this alien away and get inside the office to confront Quiz! Excellent. Now to distract this dude...</p><p> </p><p>"Uh... Hey, you're an idiot." I confronted.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Pah!</em>" they scoffed. "I'd pass every class at your school on day one, and beat you at chess at the same time." Thinks of themself as smart, huh? Maybe this exceedingly long division book may have them stumped!</p><p> </p><p>I pulled out the book. "I bet you can't solve the math equations in this feeble earthling textbook," I challenged them.</p><p> </p><p>"You think I'm <em>dumb</em>, do you? Oh it's on."</p><p> </p><p>The alien took the book from my hands and held it open horizontally, like a pinup magazine. I took the opportunity to take the eye drops and flee.</p><p> </p><p>If I were to put anything in this eye drops thing, I would definitely need a way to open it first. The last room to check would be the cafeteria, so I walked over to my school's very small and dirty cafeteria. I let my eyes wonder across the still-broken cookie machine, the blueberry Wet-Ade stain (it's nice that it's still there, it was my favorite), the liquid spinach/vomited interior paint/heck if I know, the infamous mustard smudge (which Smiley actually found quite amusing, thank you)... and a pile of coffee grounds.</p><p> </p><p>Of course! Ms. Cophey still had that dangerous stick she twirled around when she got hyped up on coffee. That could open the eye drops, and I could put the soap in to aggravate Nit Wit's eye to make them leave, and then I could close the container with the glue Richy gave me-!</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah, it's all coming together.</p><p> </p><p>I rushed over to Ms. Cophey's room, filling up the bucket i got from the janitor's office with water from the water fountain. I walked into Ms. Cophey's classroom carrying the bucket of water and the coffee grounds. Everyone looked at me questioningly, but I payed them no mind. I put the coffee grounds on the teacher's desk, and walked over to Zack.</p><p> </p><p>I held out the bucket. "Hey, can you put your head down for a second?" I said, motioning my hand down. He shot me a confused look, but obliged. I sat on his desk, and held the bucket of water over his head, waiting for it to get to an acceptable hot temperature.</p><p> </p><p>"Let me know if this is awkward," I said, trying to diffuse the situation.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh don't worry," Zack blinked. "It's DEFINITELY awkward."</p><p> </p><p>I shrugged, and tested the water's temperature. It was pretty hot, so I got off of Zack's desk and walked back to the teacher's desk. I put the coffee grounds in the water, and shook it up to mix the concoction together. I slid it over to Ms. Cophey, And she eagerly grabbed the bucket with two hands, and flagged the whole thing down. When she looked back up, she started jittering even more than usual, and twirling her stick around at such a fast pace that my eyes couldn't follow it. It swirled up a breeze, and I knew that this is what I needed to get the alien's eye dropper open. I slid it near the twirling baton, and the top was sliced clean off, emptying out the liquid that was now previously in there. I took the soap dispenser out, emptied the liquid into the eye dropper, and glued the top back on with the glue-stick I got from Richy. My classmates watched in confusion the whole time I was messing about, but I offered no explanation because I had a job to do: A weird blue alien to stop, and a world to save.</p><p> </p><p>I left the room with the eye dropper in hand, and made my way down to the main office. I opened the door slowly to make sure the guard was still looking in the textbook, and to my relief, they were.</p><p> </p><p>I set the soapy eye dropper down where I first picked it up, and cleared my throat to get the guard's attention.</p><p> </p><p>They realized I was there, and smugly said, "These problems are child's play. Want your book back?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yep," I played to their ego. "Your intellect is truly superior."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm ready for your silly human math any day of the week."</p><p> </p><p>"So, uh." I started. "After looking at that book for so long, doesn't your eye kinda feel... dry?"</p><p> </p><p>"Hmm," Nit Wit pondered. "Now that you mention it, I guess it wouldn't hurt to moisten it up."</p><p> </p><p>The large alien grab their eye drops, not realizing it had been sabotaged by the other being isn't the room.</p><p> </p><p>The alien had only needed to use one drop before their eye went very red and bloodshot. They had a comical, open-mouthed frown on their face as they hopped out of the room, and honestly, I kinda felt a little bad. Nit Wit was just doing their job.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, time to confront Quiz.</p><p> </p><p>I stepped through the office door. Quiz wasn't paying attention, so I hopped on the desk in order to look him in the eye.</p><p> </p><p>He turned to me a startled at my appearance.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">How did you get in here?!</span>" He shouted.</p><p> </p><p>"Through the door," I narrowed my eyes at him.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">Dude, I'm busy, like, dominating your entire stupid planet.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, right. "You call putting some turrets in an elementary school 'dominating the planet'?"</p><p> </p><p>He glared at me. "<span class="u">This conversation is over.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I sighed. "If you're our new headmaster, maybe it's about time you did something educational." Time to test this guy. "Quiz, I'd like to propose a quiz."</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">A <em>what</em>?</span>"</p><p> </p><p>"I'll ask you some questions, and you don't have to answer them for me." I put my hands on my hips. "...Just gives me a few answers to choose from, and I'll take a guess which is right."</p><p> </p><p>The alien looked slightly relieved. "<span class="u">Well, that seems fine. After all, you humans are all bad at multiple choice.</span>" He grinned eagerly. "<span class="u">You'll fail this quiz faster than your buddy Diz left you behind to die.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>Interesting. "Hey, it's not his fault he has longer running legs than my friends and I do."</p><p> </p><p>"Question One:" I stared at him. "Vizion was a project to destroying every planet with an 'evil' population. Now, tell me: After Viz's death, who was the first subordinate eligible to take his place?"</p><p> </p><p>Quiz handed me a paper with my question on it, and the choices <em>Diz</em>, <span class="u">Quiz</span>, <strong>Viz</strong>, and Nit Wit. Of course, Quiz would want me to choose himself, but on the ship, he was largely inconsequential. I chose Diz.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">Diz?</span>" Quiz scoffed. "<span class="u">If <em>he</em> was second in command, he'd be calling the shots!</span>"</p><p> </p><p>"Hm..." I hummed. "We'll see about that. Question Two: What was Viz's opinion of you?"</p><p> </p><p>Quiz wrote down my question and the answers Talanted, Cool, Nerdy, and Useless. I remembered this one.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">'Useless'?</span>" Quiz squinted his eyes at me. "<span class="u">Whaddaya mean, 'useless'?</span>"</p><p> </p><p>"I heard it with my own invisible ears, Quiz. Back when I was just walking up from a long dream. '<strong><em>Quiz, you're completely useless.'</em></strong>"</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">Why, you—</span>"</p><p> </p><p>"Question Three:" I cut him off. "How many of Viz's lackeys did he allow to use his data and technology regarding Vizion?"</p><p> </p><p>This time, the choices were Everyone, A select few, Just one, or Nobody. This time I was less sure, but it had to be Just one or Nobody. I picked the former.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">He didn't tell anybody but his second-in-command, pal.</span>" I thought so. "<span class="u">So, naturally, I know everything.</span>" Yeah, right.</p><p> </p><p>"Intriguing. Question Four:" And now for the kicker. "You said a minute ago, 'You'll fail this quiz faster than your buddy Diz left you to die.' How could you have known about that?"</p><p> </p><p>Quiz looked befuddled. "<span class="u">Can I skip this one?</span>" He requested.</p><p> </p><p>Not on my watch. I pointed at the desk I was on, awaiting an answer. "<span class="u">Use your paper.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>He gave me only two options: He told me, and I saw it. They didn't seem to be in cahoots with each other currently, so I picked the latter option.</p><p> </p><p>"Explain, Q."</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">I, uh...</span>" he stammered.</p><p> </p><p>I didn't have time for this. "And now for the final question." I glared at him. "Zone 5.1, the place where my friends and I were trapped..."</p><p> </p><p>"Who owns that place?"</p><p> </p><p>He handed me a blank sheet of paper. "I guess this quiz just became fill-in-the-blank."</p><p> </p><p>I wouldn't allow him to weasel his way out of this question. I hopped off the desk and prepared my testimony.</p><p> </p><p>"Here's what I believe is the <em>whole story.</em>" The images formed in my head. "The three leading figures of Vizion were Viz, Diz, and you, Quiz." There was a hierarchy. "Diz was second-in-command. You were third, because Viz considered you a 'useless' underling. As such, Viz only shared the nitty gritty details of his plan with Diz. So when Viz was vut out of the picture..." I paused for effect. "...In that moment, Diz was technically in charge of the fate of Vizion. But if Viz decided to put and end to the project, you would never inherit the powerful top spot. You needed to eliminate Diz <em>fast</em>, but not without learning all of the project's secrets. That's were Zone 5.1 comes in."</p><p> </p><p>Here was something I noticed ever so briefly when escaping. At the time, it certainly confused me, but I simply filed it away for later use. "Zone 5.1 has a machine that can <em>read minds</em> and translate it into <em>data</em>. If you could get Diz into that machine, you could extract all the necessary data, <em>and</em> keep Diz at bay. So, you signaled Zone 5.1 with Diz's whereabouts and killed two birds with one stone. This was an easy task, because Vizion owns Zone 5.1. The place even uses Vizion's TV screens." That one tiny detail would've been missed by any old elementary schooler. Good thing I didn't head lots of experience in sweating the small stuff.</p><p> </p><p>"There must've been years of studies done before the project determined Earth to be evil." I mean, one kid escaping a school leading to the destruction of the whole world? Fat chance. "Zone 5.1 isn't just a place to research rare animals—it's a testing ground where Viz observed <em>humans</em>. But one thing got in the way of your plan to steal Diz's newly inherited throne."</p><p> </p><p>"Me." I remembered how I freed Diz from the mind reading device. "The machine never got all the data you needed to reign over the cosmos." I turned back to Quiz, who looked defeated. "And now you're here..." I concluded. "...hopefully lost in your quest to be a true leader."</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">It's true...</span>" His large black eyes tested up. "<span class="u">I'm no leader. I even let you walk all over me with  that whole quizzing idea.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>"There's still time to do what's right, Quiz." I held out an olive branch. "Just let my friends, and this school, free."</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">...You're right.</span>" Quiz was defeated. "<span class="u">You humans can be smarter and wiser than I gave you credit for.</span>" He pulled out a remote and pressed a button gently. "<span class="u">All security measures are now offline.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I nodded my head at him, we headed back to my friends. They deserved to hear the news. I popped through the doorway with Quiz, and everyone looked at me expectantly, and a tad bit frightened.</p><p> </p><p>I quelled their worries. "Crisis averted. Quiz shut down the security measures, and we're all free to go."</p><p> </p><p>Quiz wiped the tear streaks from his blue cheeks. "<span class="u">My shuttle is out front. I think I'll pack my stuff up and go home, too.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I gave him a finger gun. "I'll meet you outside." He nodded, and left the classroom. My friends got up from their seats cautiously, and I could tell by the looks in their eyes they wanted to know how I stopped Quiz.</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p>After I had told the story ("That's why you needed those eye drops open?"), we all filed out of the school's front doors, where Quiz was getting ready to leave.</p><p> </p><p>He turned to greet us. "<span class="u">After I return to my home base, I'll put an end to this Vizion nonsense myself.</span>" He nodded at me in appreciation. "<span class="u">You've opened my eyes. It is up to the civilizations of the universe to judge themselves.</span>" Well said, Quiz. Well said. "<span class="u">Thank you, Egghead—</span>" he stopped himself. "<span class="u">Sorry. <em>Eggtree</em>. Phil Eggtree.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>"Stay classy, Quiz. Go and make peace, like a true leader."</p><p> </p><p>Out of nowhere, there was a subtle whirring sound coming from our right. A bright light appeared in the sky, and we all turned to it in shock.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh no..." I mumbled, realizing what it was. Well, who it was.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Joy of joys, this doomsday device can use ice from comets as fuel!</em>"</p><p> </p><p>Smiley gasped, and stuttered out, "C-could that be-?" But she didn't have to finish. Everyone knew who it was.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Finally, nothing is in my way—not Viz, not Quiz, not those meddling kids...</em>"</p><p> </p><p>I looked down, my mind racing. I walked past my shocked friends determinedly over to Quiz.</p><p> </p><p>"Diz is up there."</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Now Vizion is my vision.</em>"</p><p> </p><p>My friends turned to me, worried about what I was going to do.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>No more beating around the bush with that 'judge the planets' garbage...</em>"</p><p> </p><p>"It must be him. Take me up there in your ship, Quiz." I put on a determined face. "I'll do what I can to stop him."</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Just pure, cathartic destruction of all civil actions in sight!</em>"</p><p> </p><p>Quiz frowned. "<span class="u">So, you have a plan?</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I looked down, dejected. "...No."</p><p> </p><p>"I've got nothing."</p><p> </p><p>I <em>didn't</em> have a plan. But, maybe if I got up there, I could figure something out. I just needed to be close to the action. I needed to save the world. I needed to save my friends. I needed to save...</p><p> </p><p>I looked back up at Quiz. "But we have no choice but to try!"</p><p> </p><p>Quiz mirrored my expression, hopeful and determined. "<span class="u">You're right! I'll take you closer to the light!</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I gave him a grave nod, "But, before I go," I started, and turned towards my friends. I had to share something that I've wanted to say for the last few years. Or, not counting the dream time, the last few days.</p><p> </p><p>I was done with escaping.</p><p> </p><p>I was done with escaping my feelings.</p><p> </p><p>"Smiley." She met my gaze, surprised.</p><p> </p><p>"I used to tease you a lot, because I didn't understand you."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I mean, who smiles that much?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Psh, who actually likes school?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"But now, I realize that you're a true role model for me."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I dunno. I think it's cool that school at least makes someone happy. It certainly doesn't make me wanna smile 24/7.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"And..."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hah! What, do you have a crush on her or something?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What? No way!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Prove it!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fine! Here, give me that mustard!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"...You have a beautiful smile."</p><p> </p><p>Smiley's hand reached towards her heart in shock, but I payed her no mind. With that weight lifted off my chest, I was ready. I turned towards Quiz, and we both climbed into the small spaceship, preparing ourselves for the worst. The ship blasted off of the ground, and I didn't look down.</p><p> </p><p>No turning back now.</p><p> </p><p>___________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Quiz's ship came to a stop right in front of the gigantic ship's charging laser beam.</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">I've never tried to use this shuttle for combat before, so...</span>" He kept his upper hands on the ship's wheel, keeping it steady. "<span class="u">It's up to you to find something we can use to fight that ship!</span>"</p><p> </p><p>Alright. Time to do this. There was a panel in the dashboard in front of us, and it had a keyhole and three dull orbs on the left side. I couldn't do anything yet, so I turned around in my seat.</p><p> </p><p>There was an escape pod, brightly labeled with certain flickering letters. I stared for a second to get the pattern. E - A - C - C - A. I inputted the letters into the dial pad panel and clicked enter. It worked! A small slot opened up, and I gray the simple gray key inside.</p><p> </p><p>Now to the left of the pod were three different colored puzzles, corresponding to the three aliens I had faced.</p><p> </p><p>The red puzzle was simple enough. Usually with these, all you had to do was press the buttons around a certain center point in order to change all of the buttons in the proper order. Easy enough.</p><p> </p><p>The green puzzle was also fairly simple. I had to rotate the green circles to where the black markings matched up to make Diz's face.</p><p> </p><p>The blue puzzle was the hardest, but with enough trial and error, I was able to Rubix Cube the squares in their proper places.</p><p> </p><p>The lights were on, I had the key, and it was time to open the front panel and see what we had in store. Would it be a laser, primed and ready to blow the opposing ship down? A teleporter, ready to transport me into the ship in order to take it down?</p><p> </p><p>I steeled myself, and unlocked the panel.</p><p> </p><p>It was a self-destruct button. What the flozwad?!</p><p> </p><p>"What?" I exclaimed. "Is that <em>it</em>?" How would this help us stop the ship in front of us?</p><p> </p><p>"I would've thought you had some ammunition in this fancy spacecraft. For the first time in a long while, I was drawing a blank. "Isn't there anything else?" I think I was... scared. I looked up at Quiz with wide eyes.</p><p> </p><p>He reached out and pressed the self-destruct button and the shuttle's alarms blared to life. "<span class="u">Take the escape pod.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I was shocked, to say the least. "But—"</p><p> </p><p>"<span class="u">There's only room for one of us in that escape pod, Phil.</span>" He wouldn't meet my eyes. "<span class="u">The clock is ticking. I will finish this.</span>"  In a sick way, it all made sense. "<span class="u">Go and be with your friends on Earth.</span>"</p><p> </p><p>I slid off my chair in defeat and entered the escape pod and it blasted off with me inside, tumbling my small body around.</p><p> </p><p>_______________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A sharp pain stabbed through Phil's skull as he smashed against the side of the escape pod he was in. He barely got in and pushed a button, when the pod was blasted away from the two spaceships behind him that exploded, and propelled him to the Earth. He got up quickly and woozily to try and strap in to the seat, and everything that happened in these last several days.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He went through years and years of his life, going through elementary school, middle school, high school, and started college. And then he died and woke up, only to find out he and his friends were part of some sick experiment. He was barely a ten-year-old, and his whole life was practically a lie.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>His friends looked up at the bright blue sky, in horror. An explosion rocked their world and they could only think of the worst possible outcome.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hope. A small shuttle breached through the atmosphere and crashed into the dirt.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Their green-hoodied friend popped out, safe and sound.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They embraced him, happily. It was all over. They were home; they were safe; they were together.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>________________________________</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Smiley and I embraced each other, and, for the first time in seemingly years, I allowed myself to be happy.</p><p> </p><p>My wide grin put even Smiley’s to shame.</p>
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